“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met his brown ones.
“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen! And we’ve been married almost two months!”
“Sorry Sam. Romance has to take a back seat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”
“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”
“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment, now that you’re fired.”
“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnight for so long.”
“What did you do before I hired you, ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?”
“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”
“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”
“Thanks Lisa. That’s high praise from you.”
“Well it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like 99% of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”
From unpublished novel Zombie Detective, by Andy Zach
Secret Blog Post – Excerpt Part 2
“Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”
“That’s part of good management, emotional manipulation.”
“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?”
“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere. Say, why don’t you call Andy Zach and see if he has some royalties to share. We signed a contract with him to get half the royalties from his book Zombie Turkeys. We supplied more than half his source material right from the pages of the Midley Beacon.”
“I just called him yesterday. His sales haven’t paid for the cover yet, let alone the editing.”
“I told him to go with traditional publishing!”
“He’d still be trying to get an agent, let alone publishing his book. Who wants to represent a zombie turkey author?”
“So think of something to do with your reporting and investigative skills. That’s your first job. Get out of here and work on it at home. When I come home tonight, I want a decision from you. That’s a deadline.”
“Ok, Lisa. And thanks. You know I work best under a deadline.”
“Sure dear. We’ll go out for dinner tonight to celebrate your new career, whatever it will be.”
“I’m kind of tired of McDonalds.”
“We’ll spurge. We’ll go to the big city of Peoria. Maybe to the Country Time Buffet.”
“Wow. Thanks, Lisa.”
“Now, shoo! Don’t forget to clear out your desk.”
From unpublished novel Zombie Detective, by Andy Zach
Bill looked up as a man came in—average height, maybe five-nine, medium build, not fat, not skinny, roundish face, hazel eyes, and brown hair. He would be hard to remember. But Bill had known him all his life.
Sam Melvin, the reporter for Midley Beacon, dropped in for his daily chat. Sam and Bill had been friends since elementary school, and they had both stayed around Midley all their lives. Bill, a short, stocky guy with blondish hair, had gone off to school and become a coroner.
Zombie Detective cover
Sam had stayed in Midley after high school, doing odd jobs, until he got on with the Midley Beacon. As a reporter and blogger for a small-town weekly paper,Sam wasn’t especially busy, and he liked to socialize.
Here’s Sam’s view of Lisa Kambacher ten years after high school, when he was working for her as a reporter for the weekly newspaper, The Midley Beacon.
Karen Yardley
“Keep it down,” growled Lisa Kambacher, his boss and the editor of the Midley Beacon, and the only other employee at the small weekly newspaper. “I’m busy editing your crap.”
Sam swiveled his ancient, uncomfortable office chair from his laptop so he faced Lisa. He’d garbage-picked that chair from his neighbor in Midley when he was hired fifteen years ago. Her thin face, framed in brown hair, peered at the computer screen.
Lisa’s dark-brown eyes stared intently at what she edited. Maybe it was the piece Sam had written about Mrs. Huntington and her award-winning afghans. He hadn’t enjoyed reporting that; he couldn’t imagine she’d like editing it.
After typing up his story and sending it to Lisa for editing, he stared at her.
Because of his good grades, Sam’s high school English teacher had suggested he volunteer for the school paper. He’d gone to the newspaper “office,” a walk-in closet, and had seen a tall, slender girl pounding away on an old IBM PC. She’d looked up sharply, scowled, and said, “What do you want? Do you have a story?”
“Uh, um, I’d like to work for the newspaper.”
“Hmmm. I could use a reporter. Let me test you out. There’s a track meet today after school. Go to it. Get all the winners and losers and their feelings.Our readers care about them.Write it up, and report back to me here by seven p.m.”
“You’ll still be here at that time?” Sam asked incredulously.
“Of course. I’m the editor and head reporter and writer. I’ve got twenty stories to write, and I’ve got to report on the tennis match after school today. I expect you to work just as hard, if you want to stay on.”
“Uh, OK.”
“What’s your name, anyway?”
“Sam Melvin.”
“Sam, I’m Lisa Kambacher. Do what I say, and we’ll get along fine. Cross me, and you’ll regret it for the rest of your life!”
I’ve never enjoyed a zombie story as much as The life after life chronicles. This is the second in the series and I enjoyed every moment. The virus has now transmitted to other animal plus a few humans. But, this is not your typical zombie apocalypse. The zombies don’t lose their intellect at least not in the humans. The animals appear to have increased their intellect in order to survive. A little humour also adds to the enjoyment of the story
I love mysteries, and Andy Zach has come up with a fun and believable one with his “Zombie Detective” book. It kept me reading to figure out the murderer. I missed the Peoria area locations from the first book, but I guess folks from other regions should get to join in the fun. Sit down, eat your grits, and enjoy another fun mystery from Andy Zach!
“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met Sam’s brown ones.
“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen! And we’ve been married almost two months!” Sam broke eye contact, stood up from his desk, and paced about their small office.
“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a backseat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”
“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”
“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment now that you’re fired.”
“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”
“What did you do before I hired you ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?”
“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”
“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”
“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”
Sam Melvin Zombie Detective Excerpt Continues
“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”
Sam’s eyes misted. “Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”
“That’s part of good management—emotional manipulation.”
“Uh, you mean you don’t mean it?”
“Nah, I mean it. Emotional manipulation is much more effective if you’re sincere. Say, why don’t you call Andy Zach and see if he has some royalties to share. We signed a contract with him to get half the royalties from his book Zombie Turkeys. We supplied more than half his source material right from the pages of the Midley Beacon.”
Sam shook his head. “I just called him yesterday. His sales haven’t paid for the cover yet, let alone the editing.”
“I told him to go with traditional publishing!” Lisa scowled.
“He’d still be trying to get an agent, let alone publishing his book. Who wants to represent a zombie turkey author?”
“So think of something to do with your reporting and investigative skills. That’s your first job. Get out of here and work on it at home. When I come home tonight, I want a decision from you. That’s a deadline.”
“Ok, Lisa. And thanks. You know I work best under a deadline.”
“Sure, dear. We’ll go out for dinner tonight to celebrate your new career, whatever it will be.”
“I’m kind of tired of McDonald’s.”
“We’ll spurge. We’ll go to the big city of Peoria. Maybe to the Country Time Buffet.”
“Wow. Thanks, Lisa.”
“Now, shoo!” Lisa pushed her hands toward him. “Don’t forget to clear out your desk.”
Welcome 2024! Pick Up More Gifts for the 12 Days of Christmas. In this post you can get book excerpts, free, and discounted books for you!
You may be familiar with the 12 days of Christmas song. The actual 12 day festival ran from December 25th to January 6th, also known as Epiphany, when Christians celebrated the appearance of the wise men or magi from the east.
The Secret Supers are bored out of their minds during summer vacation-until they go to Space Camp. They learn all about the space program, try out moon gravity and zero-g simulations, and practice docking with the International Space Station.
But that’s the easy part. The villains they defeated in the past are back with a diabolical plot that renders the middle schoolers’ superpowers ineffective. Jeremy, Aubrey, Dan, and Kayla face the biggest challenge of their lives. Even if they escape the villains’ clutches, will they survive?
Find out in Secret Supers in Space!
Pick Up More Gifts – Seven Swans a-Swimming
Where do I have seven swans a-swimming in my books? How about seven turkeys? Or more? Check out this excerpt from Zombie Turkeys from Chapter 9 – Chicago. Note the aquarium type chapter icon.
They very cautiously looked in the topmost door. The door opened onto a platform looking down on a large pool full of sea creatures–including a great white shark. A man was there at the edge of the pool, blowing a turkey call. “GOBBLE! GOBBLE!” That was the odd sound Sam had heard. The zombie turkeys responded, “Gobble! Gobble!” and advanced en masse on the man, surrounding him. They seemed mesmerized by the call, staring with red eyes, but quietly marching forward. The man wore a khaki, camouflaged hunting outfit, cammo boots, and a full, bushy beard.
Sam called to him, “Hey you! You can escape this way!”
He looked at them, “Yeah, I know. I’ve got to kill these buggers.”
“How will you kill them with a turkey caller?”
Pick Up More Gifts – Excerpt Continues
“By getting them into the pool with me. It’s salt water. I’ve already gone through my ammo!” He jumped into the aquarium.
“Noo! ” Lisa gasped.
From the water he called, ” GOBBLE! GOBBLE!” Like lemmings, the massed turkeys moved forward, plopping into the water like feathered, twenty pound Alka Seltzers. The ones behind pressed the others forward. Soon, hundreds upon hundreds of turkeys covered the surface of the water, like a turkey patterned pool cover.
As soon as they were in the salt water, the zombie turkeys lost their red eyes. They swam as well as turkeys normally do; badly. Then the great white shark hit. Gobbling the turkeys three and four at a time, the shark was delighted to have this extra feeding. This food was so fresh and crunchy!
The shark was an automatic eating machine; bite, crunch, swallow, bite crunch, swallow.
This excerpt is gift number two of seven. (After the Secret Supers in Space) Here are three free books in exchange for a review:
Next, get personal with me, Andy Zach! Talk to me! You can reach me on x.com.
On to more days of Christmas–and gifts!
Pick Up More Gifts – Eight Maids a-Milking
Do I have eight maids a-milking in my writing? Anywhere? Not exactly. I do have eight reporters covering the zombie turkey outbreak for the Midley Beacon and milking it for all it’s worth. This excerpt fromZombie Turkeys, with the Chapter 9 Chicago icon. That’s a turkey caller in the turkey’s mouth. Why? Read and find out.
“I never thought I’d say this, Sam, but I think the story has gotten too big for the Midley Beacon. I’ve added a zombie turkey Twitter feed to our site, but this is way too big for us to be everywhere, even with the six new reporters I’ve hired. I’ve sent one to Bartonville and Peoria, one to Princeville, two to Joliet, one to Tinley Park, and one to Chicago. Chicago alone should have six reporters.”
“Well, let’s go to Chicago then. Three are better than one.”
“I’m with you on that. Lemme give Charlie a call. He’s our guy in Chicago.” She called Charlie Gomez, one of their new reporters. “Hi Charlie, where are you?”
Pick Up More Gifts – Excerpt Part 2
“I can barely hear you. Oh, keep your head down, then. We’ll cover the loop activity then. Ok, good reporting. Stay alive! Report daily or more often! Bye.”
“What’s up with Charlie?”
“He’s in the middle of the zombie turkey firefight in Soldiers Field. It’s quite a melee there. Let’s go to the loop.”
How about eight gifts? In addition to the excerpt above, I’ve got seven books available through free audiobook codes:
Zombie Turkeys fly to escape to Zombie Turkey hunters
Have I got the excerpt for you! I’ve got twenty or more ladies dancing in this scene from My Undead Mother-in-law.
Frank always got hyped up before an operation, but this one was the strangest he’d ever been on. He’d done his time in Afghanistan and Iraq—that was where he’d lost his leg to an IED. When the marine doctors offered him a chance to get it back through zombie blood, he’d leapt upon it like a duck on a bug. Now he was landing a whole platoon of marines on a superyacht of a criminal, to prepare the landing of more zombies.
Things got stranger. Looking at the helipad as he descended, he saw a crowd of hula-skirt-clad girls—good looking ones too! The crowd resolved itself into a formation: a smiley face! As he landed and brought his weapon to ready, he saw each girl carried a basket of leis.
The Dancing Begins
My Undead Mother-in-law cover.
“Welcome! Welcome!” they chorused in their soprano voices. They ran up to put the leis over his head. He kept them away with the bayonet on his automatic shotgun. Laughing, the nearest ones tossed leis over his gun and over his head. “Aloha Oe” blared in the background on the outdoor speakers as the attractive ladies began to sway in a hula dance en masse.
Yellow flowers decorated his head and his rifle. He felt awkward and a right fool. Already the battle plan was out the window.
“Ladies! Please gather over here!” He followed the contingency plan for if they surrendered.
Giggling, the hundred or so beauties compliantly assembled in the landing circle under the V-22, their hair and grass skirts blowing wildly in the hot rotor wash. After tearing his eyes from their shapely legs, he saw his friend Lieutenant Gerber walk up to him, festooned in leis.
“Not bad duty, eh?”
“Something about this smells.”
“Well, here come the zombie bulls. And turkeys.”
Nine gifts? How about nine discounts for autographed books? These paperbacks are discounted from the Amazon price. Get them here:
Welcome 2024 Pick Up More Gifts – Ten Lords a-Leaping
Zombie Detective cover.
I don’t have ten lords a leaping (I do have several dozen drug lords, though). How about leaping hippos? What, you don’t believe me? Check out this hippo excerpt from Zombie Detective.
“Let me finish with the background. We wanted a fast-growing, healthy strain of pigs. I thought, Wouldn’t it be great if they grew as fast as zombie turkeys?”
“Uh-oh.”
“Right. I created a pig modified with zombie turkey and hippo and mouse DNA.”
“What?” Sam’s stomach clenched.
“I won’t go into all my failures with other combinations. This one worked. I get pigs that grow from piglets to full-grown in four weeks.”
“But what’s the catch?”
“They look like hippos. And they grow only to about one pound.”
Micro-hippo
“Sounds more like a failure than a success.”
“They do taste like pork. And they reproduce fast enough to make up for their lack of size. But―” Bryce stopped and sighed.
“Tell me the worst.”
“They escaped my lab. They’re infesting the whole building. People keep finding them in the toilets. It’s very upsetting.”
So, these hippos leap and scamper like rats. Aquatic rats. Here’s a drawing of one from the chapter about them.
You want eight more gifts? Get all my excerpts for each of my books!
Welcome 2024 Pick Up More Gifts – Eleven Pipers Piping
This’ll be a different set of gifts. I love bagpipes. I have a Youtube category of them. So I’ll share my favorite bagpipe videos with you. Eleven of them!
Pick Up More Gifts – Don’t Forget Your Free Book–Until January 9th
First an excerpt:
We arrived at the top. “Time to ship out the Supers.” Papa Smith hauled out Aubrey and Jeremy. I unloaded Kayla and Dan. We lined them up on the floor.
“It’d be so easy to eliminate them here.”
“Yes, Loretta, but the consequences will follow us. And there’s no money in it. Think of each of them as a billion dollars.”
