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Welcome 2024! 12 Gifts for the 12 Days of Christmas

Zombie Turkeys Laughter 2021 Reviews

Welcome 2024! 12 Gifts for the 12 Days of Christmas. I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got the latest reviews, free, and discounted books for you! Let’s start with the reviews!

You may be familiar with the 12 days of Christmas song. The actual 12 day festival ran from December 25th to January 6th, also known as Epiphany, when Christians celebrated the appearance of the wise men or magi from the east.

Here’s the song:

12 Days of Christmas

Welcome 2023 – A Partridge in a Pear Tree

What is my writing is like a Partridge in a Pear Tree? How about a turkey in a tree? This excerpt from Zombie Turkeys.

First Draft Complete
Welcome 2024
Zombie Turkeys fly to escape to Zombie Turkey hunters

“Come back for more?  Eat fire and die!”  She sprayed napalm ferociously. It didn’t ignite. The spark ignition failed. Without thinking, she leapt toward the nearest tree, shedding the useless tank with a shrug of her shoulders. In case she needed any additional motivation, the turkeys pecked her butt all the way up.

The turkeys did not give up trying to get her in the tree. They kept flying up and attacking her. She wielded her Bowie knife. That was Rulon’s gift to her. He had it inscribed “To Lashon, from Rulon.” After about ten minutes of fighting them off, her arm was getting tired. She switched to her left arm. She wasn’t particularly dexterous with her left, but she didn’t have to be. Twenty pound turkeys who flew straight at you didn’t require much precision to strike. The most disheartening thing was, she’d stab one through the heart, have it drop fifteen to the ground with a satisfying “Thud!”, and then have it stagger to its feet five minutes later and fly back up fifteen minutes later.

Welcome 2024 – Two Turtledoves

Did you enjoy our free excerpt? Great!

But where can I find two turtledoves in my writing? I don’t have any. But I have two chipmunks from my villain in My Undead Mother-in-law

SciFi Story Fuel My Undead Mother-in-law
Welcome 2024
My Undead Mother-in-law cover.

Hundreds of miles away, Vik Staskas smiled to himself. Nothing like bringing his objects of interest directly into his reach. Vik was not a sentimental man, but he had a fondness for his cyborg chipmunks since they were his first cyborg animals he had created for his Ph.D. A computer chip listened, saw, and transmitted via 4G cell phone network to his cell or the nearest computer screen in his network. While one chipmunk listened above their office, another had chewed a hole in the ceiling and watched them and Lisa’s large computer screen. Vik whimsically named them Alvin and Theodore.

But this free excerpt is not your only gift: Have a free copy of My Undead Mother-in-law! Just click here.

All I ask is that you review the book after you’re done.

And here’s a review for you:
Brad Secrest
 61 reviews

November 21, 2023

Great story! This is a hilarious Superhero Zombie bit of fun. All of the characters are fantastic. You’ll fall in love with at least 10 of them. 🙂 Highly recommended for the humorous sci-fi zombie lover.

Welcome 2024 – Three French Hens

Zombie Detective cover
Zombie Detective cover.

I don’t have three French hens for you either. But I have three detectives in my Zombie Detective novel. And they’re in New York City, so that’s like the ‘French Connection’.

Sorry, that’s the best I can do!

Check out the excerpt:

“I’ll have you meet the detectives on the case.” He pressed his comm. “Tammy? Send in Boxer and Poodles.”

“Your detectives are named Boxer and Poodles?”

“Boxer is his real name. Ted Boxer. ‘Poodles’ is a nickname for Penelope Palmer.”

“I’d think she’d go by ‘Penny.’”

“She hates Penny. Don’t ask her why. Wait till you see her.”

The pair entered. Ted Boxer was a smiling, handsome man in his forties with short blond hair combed back from his forehead. Penelope, or Poodles, was half a head taller than Ted, with long legs and arms and curly hair englobing her head in a sphere of ringlets.

“Boxer, Poodles, this is Sam Melvin. I told you he’d be helping.”

“Pleased to meet you, Sam.” Ted pumped his hand vigorously.

“Likewise.”

Sam looked to Poodles. She had an attractive brown face with a serious, almost stern look.

“I don’t do glad-handing. I don’t like people in general.”

“Uh, OK. So I should call you Poodles?”

“That’s my name.” She looked reproachfully at Sam, like he should know better.

Your other two gifts? Get two discounted books for .99 Zombie Turkeys and Secret Supers

Welcome 2024 – Four Calling Birds

I’ve got four calling birds for you–and a lot more.

In Paranormal Privateers, my zombie turkeys have been weaponized by the undead mother-in-law and used–well, you’ll see in the following excerpt.

SciFi Fuel Paranormal Privateers
The cover of my third novel Paranormal Privateers. Click to get yours.

Looking at Lulu and Sharon, I said, “I’ll take half the animals and go to the left around the main base. You go the other way. Try not to kill anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary. You know how pro-life we are.”

The zombie animals all obeyed human zombies, but not much else. They could follow simple commands: “This way,” “Stop,” “Left,” “Right.” The corgis were the most obedient, the turkeys the least. They knew not to eat people without permission—barely. The bulls followed heel and leg direction like horses—eventually.

The corgis and bulls raced around the compound with us. The zombie turkeys milled outside the walls, eating anyone who sought to flee. As we caught people, I directed them to lay down on the ground and I tied them up with the zip ties I had picked up in the garage. I encountered steady gunfire, but after it proved completely ineffective against us zombies, people just started running. I pursued.

What else do I have for you? How about free audiobooks. Click to get any or all of Zombie Detective, My Undead Mother-in-law, Paranormal Privateers. The offer is good until I run out of free codes for you.

Welcome 2024 – Five Gold Rings!

Do I have five gold rings for you? No, but I have several billion dollars stolen by my criminals in Secret Supers in Space.

Read a little about it in this excerpt:

Welcome 2023

We arrived at the top. “Time to ship out the Supers.” Papa Smith hauled out Aubrey and Jeremy. I unloaded Kayla and Dan. We lined them up on the floor.

“It’d be so easy to eliminate them here.”

“Yes, Loretta, but the consequences will follow us. And there’s no money in it. Think of each of them as a billion dollars.”

“Nice idea, Papa.”

There’s four more gifts with this one!

You can get your free review copy by clicking here.

Get your discounted signed copy by clicking here. Free shipping from the author.

How about a free audiobook or two? Get your Secret Supers in Space by clicking here!! You might as well pick up your free Villain’s Vacation while you’re at it.

Welcome 2024 – Six Geese a-laying!

You might guess that I don’t have geese a-laying, any number. But I do have zombie turkeys laying eggs. In fact, I have a whole sub-plot devoted to it–int two different books.

Let’s give you the Zombie Turkeys excerpt:

“Approximately one hundred fifty thousand domestic turkeys have gone zombie, and approximately one hundred thousand wild turkeys. The National Turkey Institute has bred zombie turkeys and discovered their growth cycle is vastly accelerated. The eggs hatch faster, the poults grow faster and are dangerous within three weeks. There are an estimated one hundred thousand new zombie turkeys added to the flocks ravaging Illinois since the plague began at the beginning of November.

“Furthermore, not only are the zombie turkeys resistant to damage, and not only do they regenerate quickly, but once regenerated, they are two to three times stronger than normal turkeys.

“Citizens are advised to stay within their homes.  Those with bunkers or air raid shelters should stay in them until further notice. Those on the road to Illinois are advised to stop and return home. The Federal government has stopped all road, sea, and air traffic to Illinois. The US Army, Marines and Air Force are currently conducting operations against the zombie turkeys and expect to eliminate them within a week.

Four more gifts Below

Aside from the free excerpt, you can listen to Zombie Turkeys, Zombie Detective, My Undead Mother-in-law, Paranormal Privateers, and Oops! on Audible for free. Be sure to check out my great voice actors, Phil Blechman and others. There’s a link to Audible by each book cover.


Your Thirteenth Literary Gift Andy Zach Newsletter Zombie Detective Audiobook
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

Then we have:

My Undead Mother-in-law


July Joy My Undead Mother-in-law
Click to listen to My Undead Mother-in-law


Welcome 2023
More Good Things

Welcome 2023
Andy Zach Newsletter
Oops! audiobook cover Click to listen now.

Next is Paranormal Privateers Click to listen

After that, you’ve got Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse

Six More Days of Gifts to Come

I’ll make another post for the last twelve days of Christmas by Sunday, January 7th, 2024. I have a lot more gifts and discounts for you!

If you have any questions or comments for me, leaven them here.

Buy any of my books directly from me at my store. Click here.

Or buy them from my Square site. Click here.

Finally, you can go to Amazon and get them.

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Advent Days 6 through 11 – You can sample my other series

Advent Days 6 through 11 – You can sample my other series.

If you’ve been following my posts, you know I meant to publish a post every day of Advent and give you something–but I missed this week due to COVID. So I owe six gifts. Let me give them to you now.

The week that wasn’t restarts with my Secret Supers series. I could describe it, but let’s start with a brand new review instead:

Beyond Limits!

Jerry

5.0 out of 5 stars 

Disabled Middle School Superheroes
Chapter 1 icon

Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2023

It is a captivating tale that defies conventional superhero narratives. The author, with keen insight, weaves a story around four friends who turn their disabilities into extraordinary strengths.
The seamless integration of disability and superpowers challenges societal norms, making the story not just entertaining but also thought-provoking.
The author skillfully balances action, emotion, and humor, creating a narrative that engages readers of all ages. The message of resilience, unity, and embracing differences resonates throughout the book.

This book is a delightful read that not only entertains but also prompts reflection on the true meaning of strength and heroism.

Advent Days 6 through 11 – Gift 1

I know what you’re thinking–where’s my gift?

Get your free copy of Secret Supers in exchange for a review by clicking here. How’s that? Let me know.

But that’s not all. I’ve got another book in the series: Villain’s Vacation. And another reader opinion:

Secret Supers are back for another adventure!

Villain's Vacation cover What is it like?
Advent Days 6
Villain’s Vacation cover

Jennifer C.

5.0 out of 5 stars 

Reviewed in the United States on July 25, 2022

In this sequel to Secret Supers, Jeremy has been experimenting on his hamster. As a result, Dancer has learned how to read, and is reading everything he can to learn about the human world. When Jeremy discovers this, he gets Dancer one of his old cell phones so Dancer can text the group.

As for the superhero business, the group needs some downtime and goes on vacation to Coaster World. What they don’t realize is that the villain they defeated also loves roller coasters and wants revenge against the Secret Supers.

Will the Secret Supers be able to defeat the villain and enjoy their vacation, or are their crime-fighting days numbered?

Advent Days 6 through 11 – Gift 2

But you don’t have to believe this reviewer. You can try for yourself, with a free copy, in exchange for a review by clicking here.

Here’s chapter icon for you as well.

What Do Readers Think
Advent Days 6
Chapter 1 icon of Villain’s Vacation

Advent Days 6 through 11 – Gift 3

Produce Your Audiobook Secret Supers in Space
Secret Supers in Space audiobook cover. Click to listen.

Secret Supers in Space

The Secret Supers are bored out of their minds during summer vacation-until they go to Space Camp. They learn all about the space program, try out moon gravity and zero-g simulations, and practice docking with the International Space Station.

But that’s the easy part. The villains they defeated in the past are back with a diabolical plot that renders the middle schoolers’ superpowers ineffective. Jeremy, Aubrey, Dan, and Kayla face the biggest challenge of their lives. Even if they escape the villains’ clutches, will they survive?

Find out in Secret Supers in Space!

A Reader’s Opinion – A Stellar Adventure with a Twist!

Advent Days 6

Nemesis

5.0 out of 5 stars 

Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2023

Andy Zach’s writing takes flight in Secret Supers in Space, propelling disabled teen superheroes Jeremy, Aubrey, Dan, and Kayla into a cosmic summer adventure. Narrator Khai Lannor brings the characters’ energy and determination to life, making this audiobook an intergalactic joyride for fantasy fans of all ages. Buckle up and join the Secret Supers in their gravity-defying mission – this exhilarating journey is one you won’t want to miss!

Your free copy to review is yours by clicking here.


Advent Days 6 to 11 – Three More Gifts!

Audiobooks can be reviewed too! To get your free copy of Villain’s Vacation, click here.

To get your free copy of Secret Supers in Space, click here.

“Where’s Secret Supers?” you may ask. I’m out of free codes!

“So where’s my last gift?”

Right below!

Free Excerpt from Villain’s Vacation – Chapter 1 – Dancer


How fascinating! This book says there are libraries where
hundreds of books live. It also says the fiction books are in
order by author name.
Dancer scurried off Your Sixth Year Reader to look at
Jeremy Gentle’s bookshelf again. Jeremy was Dancer’s owner
and unknowing educator. Ever since he’d taught himself to read
by studying the newspapers lining the bottom of his cage,
Dancer had craved reading.

He hadn’t figured out why he’d started reading. One day
Dancer had noticed patterns in the markings. He saw they
repeated themselves in clumps which then formed more
patterns. Then he started listening to his owners differently.

They also spoke in patterns. “Jeremy” was always called “Jeremy” or “Jeremy Gentle” by his mother and sometimes by
his father.

Dancer had learned to understand Jeremy and his parents, and then he’d put the terms they said with the clumps on the paper. Each letter had a sound, and together they formed clumps his master called “words.” The idea was brilliant. No wonder they were his owners and he was only a hamster.

Excerpt Chapter 1 Part 2 – Your Last Gift Today


Dancer read each paper eagerly to the point of memorizing it, but reading started to bore him. Jeremy only changed the lining about once a week. So he’d watched Jeremy open and close his cage door. Then he copied the motion, using his paws and nose. He left to search for more words to read.

Dancer found a treasure trove. This bookshelf was one of six in the lower level of his master’s big cage. Dancer decided to explore upstairs when he finished the books down here. He wasn’t even done with this shelf yet. The books he read so far were Jeremy’s old schoolbooks, all marked up by Jeremy. Dancer could smell Jeremy’s scent on them. He’d learned about books called “fiction,” which were stories humans invented. Humans organized fiction by author,
not topic, like nonfiction. Now, he’d look for these fiction books.

He scanned the shelf above the schoolbooks. Some of the hardbacks had names on the binding. Those were the authors. Wells, Yellen, Zach. That was alphabetical—maybe these were fiction books. He climbed to the second shelf and pulled the Zach one—Zombie Turkeys—out of its place.

Soon he so was engrossed, he hardly heard the front door open. Jeremy was home! Dancer had to get back in his cage.
Using his paws and mouth, he jammed the Your Sixth Year Reader and Zombie Turkeys back onto the shelf and scampered across Jeremy’s lab. He shinnied up the table leg to his cage, flipped the sliding door up with his nose, and squeezed in.


Tell Me What you Think

Let me know what you think of my gifts for you by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Secret Supers directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for $7.95. or $.99 .

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

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Your Second Series Surprise by Andy Zach

Secret Supers audiobook cover
Secret Supers audiobook cover
Second Series Surpris
Secret Supers audiobook

Your Second Series Surprise –Most of you know I have a second SciFi series. Now it comes to you with a surprise.

I’ve got good news–and more good news for you. Let’s start with the good news. The first book in the series is free today, November 5th. Grab it here: CLICKITY CLICK!

You can get an autographed book directly from me. Click here now! I give you FREE SHIPPING!

But that’s not all.

Your Second Series Surprise – A New Excerpt

Enjoy this excerpt where Jeremy first learns of his new superpower:

Disabled Middle School Superheroes
Chapter 1 icon

The next morning I felt great. I wriggled out of bed and dressed, as usual, crawling around my carpeted floor. My legs were hopelessly spastic, but my upper body was strong enough to drag me around my room.

After packing my wheelchair’s pannier with my school supplies, I pulled myself into my chair. Getting in and out was a long, painful process. I picked up my phone, preparing to leave my room, but it slipped from my hand to the floor.

Crap. Now I have to climb down again. Desperately, I bent over and tried to reach the phone where it lay, tilted against my bed. Not quite.

With a burst of frustrated anger, I said, “Come here!” And the phone zipped into my hand.

Wow. That never happened before. There was a pencil on my desk, across the room. “Come here,” I said.

Zip! It smacked into my palm.

I experimented. Using my new power, I could make my bed far more efficiently than from my knees. I even tidied my desk.

“The bus is here,” called Mom from the kitchen.

I went down to the bus more excited about school than I ever had been before.

Want more? Get your free copy here!

Your Second Series Surprise – More good news!

Villain’s Vacation on sale for .99!

You read that right–two of the three books in my second series are on sale! Grab your copy now!

Are you unsure? Listen to the latest review:

October 8, 2023

What a fresh take on the superhero genre. Teenage kids with profound disabilities and super powers. And, don’t forget the super hamster. I love the blending of storytelling the author displays that throws him into the characters as the one documenting these super kid’s lives and the defeat of their villains. I gotta read more from this author!

Brad Secrest

Your Final Surprise

First, you can get free audiobooks by clicking here. CLICK HERE.

Next, you can subscribe to my Youtube channel here:

Finally, the third book in my series may go on sale this month. Subscribe to my newsletter to find out!

Let me know what other surprises you’d like by clicking here.