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Don’t Miss Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Here!

Zombie Turkeys Chapter 11 Icon

Don’t Miss Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Here! It’s been a while since I gave away Zombie Turkeys excerpts: today’s your lucky day! Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Right Here!

But Why You Don’t Miss Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter?

Mr. or Ms. Skeptic wants to know–why will I laugh? Will you believe another person, not me?

Check out this review by someone I’ve never met:

Zombie Turkeys?? Yup you heard it right. “Gobble Gobble”.

Okay, so it is pretty much the same formula and tropes that we’ve seen before. Science experiment gone wrong, and it causes humans/animals to go rabid and tear apart everything. Amidst all that we have everyday individuals caught in the zombie wave, fighting and holding on to dear life, and the strife brings together people from different walks of life and bonds them together. New alliances are formed, camaraderie and sportsmanship (literally) are bought to the forefront. We find out that the world is indeed a great place and people are essentially good.

Now in this novel it’s turkeys that underwent zombification. Don’t know why Andy choose Turkeys, then again, why the hell not?? Now, read everything in the previous paragraph as a satire or with a comedic tone and you get a novel that is a laughter riot from start to finish. If you take this novel seriously then seriously there is something wrong with you. I’m sure of one thing, Andy must have really enjoyed writing this one, cause I really enjoyed reading it.

Plot Summary:

So there is a turkey infection outbreak across the United States. The result is that the turkeys kind of become like Wolverine, you can cut or shoot or slash or skewer but like good old Wolvie, the turkeys heal themselves and keep on marching. Hell, turkeys kept inside freezers come back to life and start growing feathers and other accessories. They peck to death humans and other predators, overwhelming them by sheer numbers. If this were a movie I would put this in the posters –

“The last thing you hear before being pecked to death is Gobble Gobble “

Anyway back to the plot, as always we need a hero and that role is done by Sam Melvin reporter for a local newspaper. He is the first one to report the zombie turkey attacks and thus the popularity of their newspaper skyrockets. His boss, Lisa who used to see him as an underachiever falls for him and they develop a relationship. They capitalize on the whole outbreak scenario and provide reports and videos of turkey attacks, people who survived the attacks and other info, on how to fight the turkeys and what precautions need to be taken.

I was hooked on to the stadium scene where a flock of more than 100,000 turkeys descended to the field while a football match was in progress. This was by far the funniest and most interesting of all the zombie battles. Fans from both teams and the players started chopping up turkeys and singing the Thanksgiving song.

Bonus: The Obamas show up in the novel. If that doesn’t pique your interest I don’t know what will.

By the end of the novel it is implied that the experiment that caused the turkeys to go zombie mode had impacted other animals as well – squirrels, rabbits, bulls and finally humans – technically actual zombies. Hooray!! Which also explains the title – “Life after Life Chronicles Part 1″. What I liked about the novel apart from the comedic aspects is Andy’s writing that sometimes makes us wonder if we are actually reading a satirical novel. As ludicrous as it seems, occasionally we are left to seek out the humor as, when people die by turkeys (Lol) the description takes on a serious tone. Don’t worry, it isn’t that depressing, the humor marches it’s way back in, in the next line or paragraph.

So we have sequels to this and part 2 of the series is called – “My Undead Mother-in-law“.

I wish all the very best for Andy and his zombie horde of characters. Keep writing!!

Don’t Miss Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter – Right Now!

With no further ado, here’s your first excerpt:

Do You Want More Zombie Turkeys Laughter? Have Another Excerpt

Just when you think it can’t get better, here’s more.

Do You Want More Free Zombie Turkeys Laughter?

I thought you’d never ask! Here’s how to get free Zombie Turkeys books every month. Click on my page here and subscribe to my newsletter. I pick TWO lucky winners every more by random selection by my pet phoenix. One person wins a free book of their choice: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, or Paranormal Privateers in ebook or print book format. The other person wins a free audiobook. Check out the free audiobook sample here.

That’s it for now! Give me some reviews and feedback in the comments section, or send me an email.

Andy Zach Wins NaNoMo
Andy Zach contemplates his next novel.

Andy Zach

 

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Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late!

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It's Too Late!
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late! It’s never too late for zombie turkeys to show up; they’re diurnal. But in three days it’ll be too late for Free Zombie Turkeys. Click the book cover below to get it now.

What is about? A comical zombie turkey apocalypse where the turkeys regenerate rather than rot.

It’s about Sam Melvin, a high school graduate pursuing a story to his possible death.

It’s about Lisa Kambacher, his editor, driving him onagainst the zombies to vault her small town newspaper into prominence.

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys–have a look inside

Have a taste of Zombie Turkeys, read by your’s truly, Andy Zach, on my Youtube channel.

 

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys – Listen to Reviewers

Check out some of the over one hundred glowing Amazon reviews!

Read what laughing readers have said since its publication last October 31st, 2016.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars 

This one is definitely NOT a turkey!

By Elara

5.0 out of 5 stars This one is definitely NOT a turkey!, July 18, 2017

‘He felt great, he was full of energy. He had many hens to breed with, and he was the leader of a great flock.’

Sam Melvin is a reporter with the Midley Beacon, it’s a tiny local paper – with an online presence – run by its penny-pinching editor Lisa Kambacher. When Sam sees the two turkey hunters on the slab in the local mortuary, he knows he has a story to cover and he sets out to do so with great gusto. As the zombie turkeys multiply, Sam and Lisa are the leading media team on the ground and the Midley Beacon goes international, solving their financial woes and syndicating their work across the globe. But it’s not all good news. After all, there are those people-killing zombie turkeys heading into town…

This was a book I picked up with trepidation as it seemed all too possible it would be a ‘one trick pony’ stretching a single joke to beyond breaking point across the length of an entire novel. Wrong! It is like a bowl of potpourri on the sideboard of life – lots of subtle blending examples of humour – many of them very American so I suspect there were even more than I noticed, handicapped by my British perspective. This is a book that takes ironic comedy to a whole new level – maybe ‘steelic’ comedy…? Humour is a very personal thing, but this book hit me right on the funny bone.

‘Wanted badly: .30-06 carbine. Will trade hunting dog or wife for it.’

This is a well-written book which takes a totally deadpan approach to a thoroughly – hysterically – funny sequence of events. It is dark comedy, so avoid if you are squeamish. The pace of the book rolls along in a perfect, unhurried way – screaming up into the action sequences and taking time to enjoy the more delicious moments of humour.

The story itself is a lot deeper than many real zombie books and the explanation for the zombie phenomenon is as clever as it is satirical.The characters are well portrayed, deep enough to engage with and care about, but not so deep you get distracted from what they are doing by their personalities. They are the agents through which we see the events unfolding rather than the focus of the story. But the humour is subtle, all-pervading: like the idea of the survivalist organic turkey farmer, part of a network of such, living off grid – except for ordering things from Amazon on his wife’s credit card of course…

‘The most disheartening thing was, she’d stab one through the heart. It’d drop fifteen feet to the ground with a satisfying thud. Then it’d stagger to its feet five minutes later and fly back up fifteen minutes later.’

The downside is that maybe some of the humour is lost on a non-US reader. There were a couple of moments I thought ‘Huh?’ then decided it was probably a reference to something outside my cultural parameters. The only other criticism I had was that it maybe played the theme along a tiny bit too far and perhaps had a few scenes been a bit shorter, a bit less detail on the way the plague spread, or a couple of turkey attacks left out – it might have been a sharper read. But these are very minor nit-picks against the whole.This is a book I can recommend wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoys slow-boil satire and does not mind a few gory giblets thrown in the mix. If you want a good comedy read, you should gobble this up!

Did Someone Say “Gobble”?

Watch another video of a gobbling turkey:

Next, take a gander at this one:

What Can Top Getting Free Zombie Turkeys?

Maybe some cranberry sauce? How about a sequel, My Undead Mother-in-law? You can get it on Kindle by clicking here:

Andy Zach TV Version for "My Undead Mother-in-law" Launch
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon

Or you can have a print book shipped to you by clicking on the chapter icon ==>

Or you can subscribe to my newsletter and get a free copy of Zombie Turkeys. Click here!

Finally, you can leave a comment here.

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The Best of 2024 – Reviews and More for The 4th Day of Christmas

Best February Reviews A Pub in the Underworld

The Best of 2024 – Reviews and More for The 4th Day of Christmas. Join me as I go down memory lane and curate the best of the best for you: books, videos, and more.

Note this is just the first quarter of 2024! I’ve got the rest of 2024 over the next 3 blog posts.

If you’re just looking for discounted books, go here. You’ll get my audiobooks for free and other books discounted with every newsletter.

The Best of 2024 Reviews > The Globemakers: The Curious Story of an Ancient Craft

The Globemakers
The Best of 2024

Peter Bellerby


96 followers

January 28, 2024

What a cool book! I knew nothing about globemaking beyond gores; now I know a whole lot more, both of the multiple crafts involved and of its history.

But what makes the book great is the author’s personal story, telling how he went from making a handmade globe for his father’s 80th birthday to starting a bespoke globe company with a worldwide audience and customer base.

It’s a review of both the history of globemaking and of our recent history from 2008 to now.

I recommend this book to anyone with an ounce of curiosity.

Andy Zach, Author 10 books

The Best of 2024 Reviews – A Pub in the Underworld

Best February Reviews A Pub in the Underworld
The Best of 2024

I’ve read a lot of Harmon Cooper and this is the coziest book he’s ever written. Here we have a hardened soldier, Sylus Runewolf, dying as he fought his country’s enemies in a battle. After his death he wakes up in the underworld. What’s more, he has a deed to a pub.

Some of Sylus’ favorite memories are from his boyhood where he helped in his father’s pub, so he’s eager to get the pub up and going. It’s quite the fixer-upper. But he gets a pub cat, Patches, who’s magical and helps him protect the pub from rats–and demons.

The pub is in Ember Hollow which is hard by the Chasm, the hell that is below the underworld. Sometimes demons slip in. Overhead are are Celestial Plains, or heaven, glowing in the sky.

This book is a delight for brewers, fantasy lovers, and RPG lit readers!Do you have suggestions of books for me to read and review? Tell me all about them! If I read and review one you suggested, I’ll mention your name and give you a free book of your choice!

Andy Zach

Hilarious, Action-Packed Romp

Zombie Turkeys
The Best of 2024

September 25, 2024
“Zombie Turkeys” is a wildly entertaining and unpredictable ride that combines humor, horror, and heart. Sam Melvin, a small-town reporter, and his editor, Lisa Kambacher, find themselves at the forefront of a zombie turkey apocalypse.
Standout Elements:
1.⁠ ⁠Unique blend of humor and horror.
2.⁠ ⁠Well-developed, relatable protagonists.
3.⁠ ⁠Fast-paced, action-packed narrative.

Storyline:
Sam and Lisa navigate a chaotic world overrun by undead, unstoppable turkeys. As they report on the crisis, they face numerous challenges, from bloodthirsty hordes to paranoid militias.
Final Thoughts:
“Zombie Turkeys” is an outrageously entertaining and clever novel that will leave you laughing and on the edge of your seat. With its unique blend of humor and horror, this book is a must-read for fans of the genre.
M Khan

414 reviews

15 followers

Free Books for you!

Here are your free audiobooks! Claim yours by clicking here! Which ones? Most of them!

First, I’ll cover my zombie turkey apocalypse parody, The Life After Life Chronicles.

Zombie Turkeys

Best 2 Reviews
The Best of 2024 Reviews -

Zombie Detective

Best  Reviews
Your Thirteenth Literary Gift Andy Zach Newsletter Zombie Detective Audiobook
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

Then we have:

Best Reviews
July Joy My Undead Mother-in-law
Click to listen to My Undead Mother-in-law

My Undead Mother-in-law

Best Reviews
More Good Things

Next is Paranormal Privateers Click to listen.

Best 2023 Reviews
Andy Zach Newsletter
The Best of 2024 - Reviews and More for The 4th Day of Christmas
Oops! audiobook cover Click to listen now.

After that, you’ve got Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse

Secret Supers audiobook cover
The Best of 2024 - Reviews and More for The 4th Day of Christmas
Secret Supers audiobook

Moving on to my teen superhero series, we have two audiobooks.

Secret Supers is available in Audible for free if you subscribe to Audible or if you’re from the United Kingdom.

The Best of 2024 - Reviews and More for The 4th Day of Christmas
2021 Reviews
Villain’s Vacation Audio book. Click to listen.

The next book in the series is Villain’s Vacation, the second of my three Secret Supers books.

Best March 2023 Reviews
Produce Your Audiobook

Finally, my third book, Secret Supers in Space, in audiobook.

Click here to get an autographed copy now.

Click here to get an ebook or paperback from Amazon.

For all free audiobooks, click here to get them from me.

The Best of 2024 – Videos!

First, we have a rousing rendition of a folk dance from Lord of the Rings.

Next, you’ll laugh at this funny account of how the dinosaurs died.

Come back! This is only the first quarter of 2024! I’ve got more for the next four days of Christmas!