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Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations v. Zombie Turkeys

Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

The CDC has issued Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations. Zombie apocalypse is a common fictional and video game trope. Read their recommendations right here:

Andy Zach told me he'll evaulate this guide against the zombie turkey apocalypse.

Posted by Zombie Turkeys on Friday, March 12, 2021

Naturally, as the author of Zombie Turkeys, I wondered how well their recommendations would with my zombie turkey apocalypse. Let’s take a look.

Zombie Turkeys versus the CDC Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

For those who aren’t familiar with Zombie Turkeys, here’s the blurb:

Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country.

Zombie Turkeys Blurb

So these zombies are a lot worse than regular zombies. They regenerate, they don’t decay. Good luck trying to kill them. Let’s see what the CDC says.

Here is the CDC's Zombie Apocalypse guide. I'll be publishing a commentary on it soon.

Posted by Zombie Turkeys on Sunday, March 14, 2021

Their first recommendation? Be prepared. Have these supplies:

CDC Emergency page.

Water (1 gallon per person per day)

Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)

Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)

Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)

Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)

Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)

Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)

First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

CDC’s Recommendations

So, how does this stack up to zombie turkeys? Pretty well. One of the recommendations is to stay inside your house or bomb shelter until they go away. All these supplies will help as you hunker down.

Let me know if you have any further ideas. I’ll give you a free Zombie Turkeys book!

Your Next Zombie Apocalypse Recommendation

After your emergency kit you need to have an evacuation plan.

Picture of Family by mailbox
Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and farther away
  1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
  2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
  3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
  4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

How well does this plan handle zombie turkeys? Pretty well, but you need a secure building or location where zombie turkeys can’t reach you. Remember, they can fly and peck through glass. Cinder blocks and bunkers are your friends!

Plan evacuation by car, since they only fly about twenty miles per hour. Try to avoid driving into large flocks, since they can stall your car. That would be very bad.

Your Third Step to Surviving Zombie Turkeys

The CDC’s final recommendation?

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

Get The Final Authority On Zombie Turkeys Here

Getting more information is always good. Read all about it in my book Zombie Turkeys, now on sale for .99.

Finally, don’t miss further zombie apocalypse advice. Subscribe now to my newsletter and get five free audiobooks!

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How To Prepare Yourself Financially For The Zombie Apocalypse

Authors Business Owners

How To Prepare Yourself Financially For The Zombie Apocalypse

I’m happy as a zombie in a meat market to introduce my fellow blogger and zombie enthusiast, Michael Dinich. He wrote this scintillating guest blog post: “How to Prepare Yourself Financially for the Zombie Apocalypse” Enjoy and learn!

Zombie Apocalypse
Zombie Lady: Prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse

Hello Zombie Turkeys Fans.

I am Michael ‘AKA” Your Money Geek, and today I am going to share with you how to prepare financially for the Zombie Apocalypse. Why I am, I uniquely qualified to guide your dollars in preparation of Armageddon? Well, I have 20 years’ experience in the personal finance industry, and I am a money blogger.

In my 20 years of professional experience, I have helped clients navigate various financial disasters successfully. While I have no direct experience dealing with Zombie uprisings, I am a money blogger, and let’s be honest, when has a lack of real-world experience ever stopped a blogger form sharing their opinion?

I am however a 30+ year student of the Zombie genre, having cut my teeth on the Night of The Living Dead (1968) as a child. I was immediately enthralled and terrified, having realized the biggest threat to our survival was most likely Zombies. (Isn’t that the reason we all watch and read zombie martial? To ensure our survival)

Here is what you need to know to prepare your finances for the Z Poc.

Continue reading How To Prepare Yourself Financially For The Zombie Apocalypse

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Get Your Latest Zombie Humor Here From Author Andy Zach!

Happy Mother's Day

Get Your Latest Zombie Humor Here!

You can count on me, Andy Zach for scouring the internet for the Latest Zombie Humor! For your reading pleasure:

First, be ready for the zombie apocalypse, be it turkey or anything else!

The Next Latest Zombie Humor

Second, you may want this meal for your next zombie apocalypse:

Continue reading Get Your Latest Zombie Humor Here From Author Andy Zach!