Tag: Reviews

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Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? Audio Excerpts!

Fun Links
Get Your Zombie Turkeys Laughter Hear
Zombie Turkeys front cover. Click to get a your excerpt!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys? I’ve got audio excerpts and written excerpts for you.

Why am I telling you? I’m giving away free copies of Zombie Turkeys on September 1st & 2nd, 2024. Click here to claim yours.

First, I’ve got written Zombie Turkeys excerpts for you.

The first excerpt I ever published on my blog is here, from November 18, 2016.

But maybe a section of Chapter 1 doesn’t satisfy you.

Zombie Turkeys Chapter 1 Icon
Zombie Turkeys Chapter 1 Icon

You can always click and go to Amazon and get your chance to read free online. You can read into chapter 2 at Amazon.  If you have Kindle, you can read the whole book for free. Or you can buy the ebook for .99.  You can get the paperback here on Amazon, or on this very website. I’ll give you free shipping too!

You can also listen to the audio sample at Amazon or Audible .

If you subscribe to Audible, you can read Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law for free.  To subscribe, click the US link. the UK link,  or the DE link. Did you even know I have a DE (Deutche, German) website?

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts!

You can’t forget these four audio excerpts, read by yours truly, Andy Zach. First:

Next you have this one:


Then there’s the third excerpt:

Finally you have the fourth and last video here:

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys Excerpts? Professional Version!

Have You Ever Heard Zombie
Have You Ever Heard Zombie Turkeys

I hired professional voice actors Phil Blechman and Raven Perez for Zombie Turkeys audiobook. Listen here: Zombie Turkeys audio

What do you think? Leave a comment or send me a note by clicking here.

Have You Ever Heard Zombie Reviews?

While I was busy running writing books, my beloved book fans were writing book reviews.

Here’s one:

Sep 11, 2018

Lirio Marchito rated it liked it

I received a free copy of this book in return for an honest review.

Apart from being called a zombie in the office, because I used to work too long till my eyes turned red and legs felt so tired they often moved like a dead-man-walking, I have never had much proximity to zombies or zombie-hero-stories. I have watched a few movies where zombies were always portrayed as creepy and villainous. So I always associated them with the gory horror films or novels. Having always read only the stereotyped versions of a zombie, Andy Zach’s fun and humorous take on zombies came as a laughter riot to me.

Diane Newby, ‘the undead mother-in-law’ reminded me of many minority rights activists in my country, but unlike them, she is strong- physically and mentally, doesn’t victimize herself but is a true, witty heroine. She became a zombie by accident but instead of looking at it with terror or grief; she learns to enjoy the fun and positive aspects of it: being dead-proof, aging-proof, and disease-proof! She fights against the stigma associated with ‘zombification’ and advocates the use of zombie blood to cure elderly and disabled people. She is not alone in her pursuits but is helped by her husband George, son Don and his wife Maggie (also zombies). Through her son-in-law Ron Yardley’s blog she is introduced to Sam and Lisa Melvin, editors of Midley Beacon, a one-stop online newspaper for zombie news. Through them, she is taken to the battle fronts to fight national catastrophes like zombie turkeys, corgis etc.

First Review Second Part


Apart from the fun narration of an unlikely-to-ever-happen-story, I also enjoyed some other aspects of this book. One was the clever use of excerpts from Ron Yardley’s blog in the narration. It worked really well for striking home a point or an emotion. I also enjoyed the antagonist and his versatile use of latest technology weapons, whether it is cyborgs, controlling chips or hyperloops. I also loved the references to real life people like Elon Musk, Obamas or Trump.

I wish the author good luck with all his works.  Interested readers can find out more about the author and his books at andyzach.net Happy reading 

New Reviews Third Part

And here’s the next:

“The book cover is perfect! The story is a creative, funny & unique parody of the “zombie” genre. Don’t read it if you have no sense of humor or hate zombie books. I wasn’t rolling on the floor laughing, but definitely giggling in places in between some good action scenes. If you like Mel Brooks or Monty Python movies, you probably have the right sense of humor for this book.”

Next, for a chuckle, try this cartoon.


One More Thing . . .

It’s not a Free Zombie Turkeys Excerpt, but it’s free! Get some free audiobooks from my newletter! Click here for free audiobooks.

Finally, there’s this image:

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Zombie Heroes Hired by the President – What’s Up With That?

Zombie Heroes Hired by the President – What is Paranormal Privateers All About?It’s one of my favorite books. It’s my most complex and surprising. So what is it about and why do I like it? I give you a free sample below. It’s in a unique humorous zombie hero genre.

Happy Mother's Day Paranormal Privateers All About
Diane Newby, in her natural environment.

But let’s start at the beginning: My Undead Mother-in-law, introduces the Newbys, a zombie family. The son, Don Newby, shows up in Zombie Turkeys. The family, led by the matriarchal undead mother-in-law Diane Newby, fights for zombie rights and any criminals that cross their paths. It helps that my zombies regenerate from injuries and get stronger each time.

By the end of the book, they’re Zombie Heroes!

This leads to Paranormal Privateers where the President has given them a letter of marquis to fight as privateers on behalf of the United States. They’re given assignments that are too dangerous or sensitive for the US to intervene directly. Like Somalian pirates.

There are a ton of villains in the book (at least five). I have a whole post about them here: Meet My Villains from Paranormal Privateers. Plus, my book’s is on sale. My book is .99 from August 4th until August 11th. Get your copy by clicking here.

What is Paranormal Privateers All About? – The Zombie Heroes

George Newby Zombies Versus Aliens i
George Newby, wide-body zombie.

A heavy tread down the stairs announced George Newby. His eyes shone red too, but while Diane was built like a middle-aged woman, George was a classic wide-body. His shoulders filled the stairway. You’d think he was a truck driver or a lineman rather than an accountant.

“Hi, Karen. Hi, Ron,” he rumbled. He hugged his daughter, as if he held a baby bird, and shook my hand without hurting me in his bratwurst fingers. His bright red eyes looked squarely into mine.

George and Diane are also on the back cover of Paranormal Privateers.

Buy it here!

“Sharon Windham – tall blonde bodyguard from England. “Her eyes shone bright red under a broad brow, with blonde eyelashes and a square chin. She could be a marble idol from a Greek temple. A zombie goddess”–from Paranormal Privateers

Zombies Versus Aliens
Sharon Wyndham in her pre-zombie, Crossfit days

She was a former crime lord bodyguard who switched alliegiance to Diane Newby. Former Crossfit athlete, model, and competitive swimmer.. She deamt of becoming a UN translator. She speaks 11 languages: English, French, German, Norwegian, Swedish, Danish, Chinese, Korean, Arabic, Hebrew, Greek, and Russian. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and naginata.

My original character description I created before I wrote Paranormal Privateers.

Meet Lulu Guitierrez – one of my Zombie Heroes

Zombies Versus Aliens Zombie Heroes

Darkly beautiful bodyguard from Acapulco Mexico. 5′ 4″ Former cliff diver and rock climber. Former crime lord bodyguard, now protecting Diane Newby. Former MMA fighter and bodybuilder. Trained in katana, nunchuks, and naginata.

This is my character description I created before I wrote Paranormal Privateers.

Now let’s meet a villain.

Excerpt from Paranormal Privateers – Synthia

Oops! My SciFi Zombie Heroes
Synthia Smith gets arrested

I examined my cell methodically. A drainpipe, two inches in diameter. A toilet. A hard bed. A steel door with hinges on the outside. I’d probably need to escape from somewhere other than this cell. Once they established a routine with my interrogation, I’d look for escape routes.

I chuckled to myself. Synthia Smith was my true name, in the sense it matched my birth certificate and other current identification. Before Synthia Smith, I was Rachel Rathbone, and before that Quinella Quincy, and so on, through the alphabet. My earliest memory was a toddler named Betty Botter. I had to be cute and pick pockets. Who knew what my original name was? Changing identities was a standard procedure for me with each new assignment.

This had been my most challenging operation, and I’d almost pulled it off. Those damn zombies! Had I blown up Harrods, the demands for billions in exchange for each national landmark’s safety would have been credible.

They had no idea of the bigger picture—and they wouldn’t get it. My terrorist cover story was completely true, but neither the terrorists nor Scotland Yard knew they were merely a means to an end. It was the truth: total subjugation of the United Kingdom was a reasonable goal for one like me, a child of the world’s greatest criminal.

I knew more about Papa Smith, my ostensible grandfather, than any of my siblings. I think I actually touched his feelings as a loving granddaughter, and I think he shared more with me than with any of his other crime-lord grandchildren. Of course, he might be manipulating me, just as I tried to manipulate him. That was the most reasonable assumption, especially if we were actually related.

What Is Paranormal Privateers All About? – Synthia Smith, Part 2

Paranormal Privateers All About

Regardless, I felt fond of him. When I overthrew him and took over his crime empire, I thought I’d keep him alive. I enjoyed our talks via our secured video line. When he’d shared Sid Boffin’s failure with me, I clapped in delight as he praised me for staying in touch with him. I think that was genuine emotion and not an act. It was hard to tell sometimes.

A motion on the floor caught my eye as I sat on the bed. A cockroach crawled up the drain and onto the floor. Surprising. Usually, Britain kept their prisons pest free. Then another. Then a dozen more. And then, hundreds.

This was not normal cockroach behavior. They did not come into the light in hordes. I sat cross-legged on the bed and watched the swarm with fascination. They climbed the door, walked its steel perimeter, and went back down the drain as others came up.

Curious, I nabbed one using my lightning reflexes. Examining it, I saw a metal dot under its thorax and a narrow tube attached to its abdomen. A pungent, acidic smell came from the tube. I looked back to the door. The acid ate a narrow trench in the door’s perimeter, right where the cockroaches still marched. Near the ceiling light, I saw mist curl away from the door.

Zombie Heroes vs Synthia Smith, Part 3

Meet My Villains from Paranormal Privateers Paranormal Privateers All About

Modified and controlled cockroaches—like Sid Boffin’s cyborg-controlled animals. I’d read his Ph.D. paper as well as the Midley Beacon‘s declassified reports on his battles with the zombies. Since Sid was dead at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, this could only be one of my siblings or Papa Smith trying to rescue me.

Using my perfect memory of the twists and turns when they’d led me here hooded, counting my steps, and remembering the doors, I was confident I could retrace the route.

The last of the cockroaches marched around the door, leaving its trail of acid. They etched the door perhaps a centimeter deep. Couldn’t be much left.

I knocked on the door. Yes, it felt like a centimeter thick, and it echoed like it was almost cut through. Then someone knocked back, much harder.

“I’m here!” I called. I assumed this was my rescuer.

“Step back,” grated a curious, tinny voice, like it was coming through a small radio.

I stepped away.

CLUMP! CLUMP! Two metallic thunks hit the other side of the door. Then, SKREERK! The door tore off like the lid of a tin of meat.

I didn’t expect what I saw. A male silverback gorilla filled the doorway and the whole hallway beyond. Thick armor covered his body. Casually, he placed the door scrap against the hall.

“Follow me,” he said.

Readers Speak About Paranormal Privateers

Binge-worthy series

Top 7 Science Stories Zombie Heroes
Paranormal Privateers cover

5.0 out of 5 stars 

Reviewed in the United States on June 3, 2024

This series was too easy to binge, I could not stop listening to the audible audiobooks once I started! This author is brilliant, the narrator(s) in all of the Life After Life chronicles books are wonderful, and the storyline was hilarious. At times I shook my head in disbelief and just cracked up at the ridiculousness surrounding this zombie story. My son is 12 and he listened with me at times and enjoyed the humor and different zombie stories as well!

Shannon Skinner

Click Below to Get Your Zombie Heroes!

SciFi Fuel Paranormal Privateers Zombie Heroes
The cover of my third novel Paranormal Privateers. Click to get yours.

Any newsletter subscriber gets free audiobook codes–as long as they last. Click here to get yours. Don’t wait until they’re gone!

Do you want an autographed book? I’ll mail it directly to you with free shipping and I pay the taxes! Click here to get yours. My shipping may not be the same day, but at least it’s free–for you.

Got questions? Comments? Reach me directly by clicking here. I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can.

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Discover My Four Heroes in Secret Supers: Space Camp Excitement

Produce Your Audiobook Secret Supers in Space

Discover My Four Heroes from Secret Supers in Space. My book is .99 today until June 23rd at midnight. Grab your copy for just $0.99 before June 23rd at midnight! Click here.

How do 7th graders get superpowers? What superpowers do they have? What kind of teens are they?

Find out in this post!

Discover My Four Heroes – Jeremy and Dan

“What are you doing, Jeremy?”

Meet My Heroes Discover the Four Heroes
Jeremy using his telekinesis

Startled, I looked up from my computer and turned around in my wheelchair. My best friend, Dan, had slipped silently into my lab. I still thought of it that way, but we’d made it into the Secret Supers clubhouse almost a year ago. Dan’s round, brown face smiled down at me while his tall, wide frame loomed behind me. His dark glasses hid his blind eyes.

“I didn’t hear you come down the elevator.”

“I took the stairs. Your mom made cookies, so I came over. I could smell them from my house.”

“You mean, you could smell them from my mom’s thoughts?”

“And your’s and your dad’s. You were all excited, so I couldn’t help myself from taking a sniff from your mom’s nose. I didn’t snoop any further than that.”

“I know you respect everyone’s privacy with your mindreading power.”

Meet My Heroes Discover the Four Heroes

“Except maybe yours. You did permit me to read yours anytime. But I haven’t read your mind about what you’re concentrating on. C’mon, tell your old friend Dan.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I want to surprise the Secret Supers.”

“Of course not. Now I’m dying to know!”

“I’m applying to Space Camp.”

“What’s Space Camp? I can hear the capital letters in your voice.”

I spun my wheelchair around to face him. “What’s Space Camp? It’s the greatest camp there is! We’re all bored out of our minds now that August has started and we want to do something. Space Camp teaches you all about our space program. You learn about astronauts and rockets. You go on a centrifuge and experience zero-g and moon gravity.

Discover My Four Heroes – Kayla

Meet My Heroes

“Now I know, so we might as well let Kayla and Aubrey know.”

I glanced at my screen clock. “Ten thirty. I can call Kayla, but Aubrey’s at her summer baseball practice.” I speed-dialed Kayla.

“You don’t have to put her on speakerphone. I can read her mind,” said Dan.

I laughed. “You read my mind. I was ready to do that.”

Hello, Jeremy. Kayla’s voice sounded in my mind. Kayla had spinal meningitis and could no longer talk or walk without a walker. I felt sad when I heard her high mental voice, sounding just as she used to talk before losing it.

“Hi, Kayla. I’ve got big news for you and Aubrey: the Secret Supers are going to Space Camp!”

Sounds like fun. I assume it’s all paid for and our parents are on board?

 “Right. I researched it, then my parents contacted yours, Dan’s, and Aubrey’s, and everyone agreed. Just now, I applied and got approval. We’ll be gone for a week.”

When?

“The last week in August, just before Labor Day.”

Now I have something to look forward to, instead of another sweltering day. How long does it last?

“A week. We arrive on the last Sunday of the month and leave on Friday.”

Kayla – Part 2

Meet My Heroes Discover the Four Heroes

I suppose you want me to tell Aubrey. I’ll give her the message to come over to our Secret Supers room, and we’ll all surprise her when she comes in.

“Great idea, Kayla!” I grinned.

Dan’s head snapped up from the phone and then he leaned back down. “You can tell her now. Her practice was canceled because of a thunderstorm. Boy, is she grumpy!”

“Baseball’s the love of her life,” I said. “A new adventure will cheer her up.”

All right, I told her to meet us there. She’s riding her bike straight from practice.

Dan placed his hand on his head like he does when he’s listening telepathically. “Uh, oh, Kayla, you’d better hurry. She’ll beat you here.”

I didn’t think of that. Mom’s busy at work. I can’t interrupt her, and I can’t bike anymore.

I straightened in my wheelchair. “Let me give you a lift—literally.”

Now you’re reading my mind, Jeremy. I was just about to ask you for help. Are you sending your flying car?

“Nope.  Just put on your Secret Supers outfit and I’ll fly you over.”

“I’ll put on mine. It’s here in my backpack.” Dan slid it off his shoulders.

I hadn’t noticed Dan’s backpack.  I turned to my phone. “We’ll make it a full club meeting. This’ll be the first time we’ve worn the new costumes your mom made for us, Kayla.”

I modeled mine for Mom. They fit a lot better than the store-bought ones we had, and they’re much sturdier. The old ones were pretty scuffed up.

“Something about fighting ten-foot robots does that.” Dan grinned.

Discover My Four Heroes – Aubrey

Aubrey on the move

I yelled from the bathroom as I dressed telekinetically, pulling the tights over my legs twisted by a lifetime of cerebral palsy. It did fit better than the old uniform. Even the boots went on better. I loved the material I selected. It was completely air tight and waterproof. It fit beautifully with the other secret enhancements I’d put in. I wondered when I should tell the others about them.

Of course—

THUMP! THUMPITY! THUMP!

I don’t need to read minds to know that’s Aubrey. No one else pounds as she does down the stairs.

The door to the clubroom burst open. “TA-DA! I’m here. I came here at the speed of light,  on a bicycle.”

Coming out of the bathroom, I saw Aubrey’s tousled blond hair peeking out of her baseball cap. Sweat beaded her broad forehead. Her black mask and red Secret Supers uniform clashed with her green ball cap.  Instead of black boots, her prosthetic legs went to her knees.

I smiled at her. “Aubrey, did you notice how much better these new uniforms fit?”

“Yeah, it doesn’t bind me at all when I run or bike. I could wear it all the time. It’s easy to get on and fits nicely around my stumps. Now tell me what the big news is, Jeremy. Kayla wouldn’t tell me anything!”

Readers Speak About Secret Supers in Space

Cute

Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2022

5.0 out of 5 stars 

I love this story, a great continuation of the first book. The Super Secrets have one heck of an adventure, and I was happy to be along for the ride.

darlene loop

Hero Too

Overall    5 out of 5 stars

Performance    5 out of 5 stars

Story    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic listen listened to this with my younger brother he really seemed to enjoy this even as I found myself giggling a few times great Voice work and premises highly recommend this to parents looking to get their kids more into books.

Listener received this title free

Discover My Four Heroes With Your Own Copy!

Produce Your Audiobook Meet My Heroes Discover the Four Heroes
Secret Supers in Space audiobook cover. Click to listen.

Quick! Click here to get yours for .99! Only June 16-23rd! Any newsletter subscriber gets free audiobook codes–as long as they last. Click here to get yours. Don’t wait until they’re gone!

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Did you like Discover the Four Heroes from Secret Supers in Space? Got questions? Comments? Reach me directly by clicking here. Or you can email me at [email protected] I’ll get back to you as quickly as I can.

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