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Ten Books Ten Chapters Free – Advent 20

Ten Books, Ten Chapters Free, all for Advent 20. I’m giving a gift daily. These books were from the previous ten days. Today, you get the gift of convenience. All the books are in one spot for you.

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 1

Zombie Turkeys Free Chapter For You

Bartonville

Zombie Turkeys Free Chapter
Ten Books Ten Chapters
Zombie Turkey, Chapter 1 icon

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He bred with female after female in his flock without tiring. The tom stayed awake through the night. He feared no predator.

Then a turkey hunter shot him.

The setting sun overlooked a crisp, clear evening in early November. South of Bartonville, Illinois, a farmer had leased his wood lot to two turkey hunters. Big and burly in their bulky camouflaged outfits, they had just bagged one.

“Good shot, Pete!”

“He’s a big ‘un!”

Pete and Bob walked up to the tom turkey, bleeding on the cold ground. The rest of the flock had scattered into the woods. He had exceptionally good plumage and weighed perhaps twenty pounds. Pete reached down and picked him up by the neck.

“He weighs at least twenty-five pounds!”

Then the turkey’s eyes opened—and gleamed red. He kicked with his spurs and pecked savagely at Pete’s arms and eyes. Dozens of his hens attacked the men from behind.

“Gobble! Gobble!”

He felt different. More energetic, more alive. He had no memory of being shot, but a certain turkey satisfaction at killing his killers. The tom also enjoyed pecking at their dead meat. He had always liked frogs, but this meat tasted better. He led his flock down the road in search of more predators to eat.

Read more here!

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 2

Your Gift – Zombie Detective – Chapter 1

Chapter 1 – Laid Off

Secret Blog Post
Your Gift Chapter 1
Ten Books Ten Chapters
Sam Melvin, dealing with Zombie Turkeys

“Sam, you’re fired.” Lisa’s green eyes met Sam’s brown ones.            

“What? Lisa, you and I have worked together at the Midley Beacon for ten years! And we’ve known each other for fifteen! And we’ve been married almost two months!” Sam broke eye contact, stood up from his desk, and paced about their small office.

“Sorry, Sam. Romance has to take a backseat to finances. Ever since the bottom dropped out of the zombie turkey news market since the first of the year, the Midley Beacon hasn’t made enough to pay your salary.”

“But that’s our salary. We share and share alike.”

“We can still live on my salary. And you can apply for unemployment now that you’re fired.”                                                                        

“But what’ll I do all day? I can only play Fortnite for so long.”

“What did you do before I hired you ten years ago? What did you do while I was in college?”

“Uh, mow lawns. Handyman repair. Stuff like that. But I’m a grown man now. I want more.”

“Hmm, you are a decent reporter.”

“Thanks, Lisa. That’s high praise coming from you.”

“Well, it’s the truth. You’ve grown from a crappy reporter, like ninety-nine percent of all reporters, to well above average. I did lay off everyone else on the staff before you, you know.”

Sam’s eyes misted. “Aw, you’re making me feel warm and mushy.”

Read the rest of Chapter 1 here.

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 3

My Undead Mother-in-law – Chapter 1 – Gary

My Undead Mother-in-law Free Chapter 1 Icon
Ten Books Ten Chapters
My Undead Mother-in-law Chapter 1 Icon

“You know I love your mother. But your mother’s a zombie. Who wants to see one zombie, let alone four of them?”

“Now that’s not fair. Mom and Dad have adjusted to their zombiism very well. Mom still volunteers at church and bakes cookies and pies for the bake sales. Dad still works as an accountant at GM. There’s nothing to worry about!”

“That covers Diane and George. I know them. I guess I’m ready for them. What about your brother and this new girlfriend of his? I don’t think Don has said two whole sentences to me since I’ve known him!”

“He’d never get a word in edgewise with you, Ron. You said it yourself—you’ve had diarrhea of the mouth since you were born. He and his friend Maggie will be fine.”

“Whatever you say, Karen.” I knew when to surrender. I focused my eyes on the Indiana turnpike ahead.

“Hmmph!”

I glanced at Karen while I drove. Her arms were crossed under her breasts, and she looked out the window, away from me. Trying to make peace, I said, “I thought we dodged a bullet when the zombie turkey plague just missed Gary, Indiana. I never dreamt this zombie thing would hit our own family.” I kept my tone neutral

“So far it hasn’t hit us hard. Life goes on as usual.”

Great! At least she was still talking to me. “As great as it can with glowing red eyes,” I said with a big grin.

“Maybe. I hadn’t really thought about how hard life would be like that.”

“I have no clue what that’d be like.”

“Clueless from Toledo!”

Read the rest of chapter 1 by clicking here.

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 4

Read Paranormal Privateers Free Chapter 1 – Somalia

Dirac sighed with relief when the US flag came down, and the surrender flag went up on the mast of the titanic luxury yacht. He didn’t mind firing rounds from his AK-47 over their heads, but he hated killing people. He knew they were only infidels, but they were still people.

Read Paranormal Privateers Free
Ten Books Ten Chapters
Chapter 1 icon of Paranormal Privateers

Inhaling the salted breeze, he grinned back at Muhammed. He cheered and laughed in his seat behind the M2 machine gun in the bow of the boat they used to patrol the coasts and fishing waters of Somalia. The sun gleamed off his white teeth.

“Look, Dirac!” he said. “They’re stopping!”

True enough. The bow wave ceased as he watched. A pod of dolphins ended their sporting on the wave and submerged. The gleaming white yacht loomed above them. What were they doing in the fishing waters of Somalia? He couldn’t imagine the wealth on board. Enough for their whole village to eat well for a year!

Their supreme leader, Omar Ogala, organized Somali fishermen and former coast guard sailors to patrol their fishing waters. He ordered them to capture any fishing or cargo vessels they spotted. He told them the Americans and Europeans no longer cared about Somalia with the other crises around the world and they could defend their coasts from foreign competition—and dumpers. Many foreign nations, knowing Somalia’s military weakness, sent cargo ships full of pollutants and dumped them into their waters.

Click here and read more!

Dirac never expected to see a luxury ship here. It was as big as a cruise liner, but apparently a private yacht. He’d seen one once before when an Arab sheik visited Mogadishu. This one was three times the size! The owner would pay big to get it back. Maybe even a billion dollars? He couldn’t imagine that much money, and he was good with numbers. Let’s see: fourteen million people lived in Somalia. Divide a billion dollars among them would give each about seventy dollars. Unbelievable. A family of five could live comfortably for a year on that!

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 5

Read Your Free Short Story “In A Pickle” from Oops!

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Ten Books Ten Chapters
Chapter 1 icon of Paranormal Privateers

Now, what was he going to do? His boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. Bryce was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet.

“The origin of Zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he
read to himself.

Zombie turkeys had ravaged Illinois and the US at Thanksgiving. Thankfully, they hadn’t hit near Terre Haute, where he lived. He skimmed the article rapidly. Corn All, one of their agribusiness rivals, had genetically modified its corn to fight off corn disease. The genetic modification would adapt to the disease at a cellular level and neutralize it by copying the DNA from the disease organism, whether fungal or bacterial.

Read the rest and get an audio reading here!

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 6

Read Free Secret Supers Chapter 1 – Jeremy

Disabled Middle School Superheroes
Read Free Secret Supers
Chapter 1 icon

“Dear diary,” Jeremy Gentle dictated into his app on his tablet in his bedroom. “Today, I became a superhero.” Jeremy stopped, uncertain. Was that the best way to start his journal? Might as well just tell the story. He needed to sleep. He had a big algebra test tomorrow at Maryville Middle School.

Yesterday, school went as usual. It was the same old seventh grade. Same handicapped kids in the same class. Same problems transferring to the toilet from my wheelchair. Nothing new.

Oh, I take that back. I had one new, bad thing happen— I fell during physical therapy. There I was, between the parallel bars, halfway done. I tried with all my might to take another step. I couldn’t.  My muscles screamed, at their end. My legs collapsed, and I hung like a marionette from the gait belt, held by my therapist, Fred Bernstein.

There’s a lot more, if you click here.

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 7

Villain’s Vacation Begins – Chapter 1 – Dancer

What Do Readers Think
Villain's Vacation Begins
Chapter 1 icon of Villain’s Vacation

How fascinating! This book says there are libraries where hundreds of books live. It also says the fiction books are in order by author name.

Dancer scurried off Your Sixth Year Reader to look at Jeremy Gentle’s bookshelf again. Jeremy was Dancer’s owner and unknowing educator. Ever since he’d taught himself to read by studying the newspapers lining the bottom of his cage, Dancer had craved reading.

He hadn’t figured out why he’d started reading. One day Dancer had noticed patterns in the markings. He saw they repeated themselves in clumps which then formed more patterns. Then he started listening to his owners differently. They also spoke in patterns. “Jeremy” was always called “Jeremy” or “Jeremy Gentle” by his mother and sometimes by his father.

Dancer had learned to understand Jeremy and his parents, and then he’d put the terms they said with the clumps on the paper. Each letter had a sound, and together they formed clumps his master called “words.” The idea was brilliant. No wonder they were his owners and he was only a hamster.

Dancer read each paper eagerly to the point of memorizing it, but reading started to bore him. Jeremy only changed the lining about once a week. So he’d watched Jeremy open and close his cage door. Then he copied the motion, using his paws and nose. He left to search for more words to read.

Click here to read the rest of the chapter!

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 8

Read Secret Supers in Space – Chapter 1

Chapter 1 icon of Secret Supers in Space

“What are you doing, Jeremy?”

Startled, I looked up from my computer and turned around in my wheelchair. My best friend, Dan, had slipped silently into my lab. I still thought of it that way, but we’d made it into the Secret Supers clubhouse almost a year ago. Dan’s round, brown face smiled down at me while his tall, wide frame loomed behind me. His dark glasses hid his blind eyes.

“I didn’t hear you come down the elevator.”

“I took the stairs. Your mom made cookies, so I came over. I could smell them from my house.”

“You mean, you could smell them from my mom’s thoughts?”

“And your’s and your dad’s. You were all excited, so I couldn’t help myself from taking a sniff from your mom’s nose. I didn’t snoop any further than that.”

“I know you respect everyone’s privacy with your mindreading power.”

“Except maybe yours. You did permit me to read yours anytime. But I haven’t read your mind about what you’re concentrating on. C’mon, tell your old friend Dan.”

“Don’t tell anyone. I want to surprise the Secret Supers.”

“Of course not. Now I’m dying to know!”

Read more of the chapter here!

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 9

The Gospel Medley

Pre-Existence and the Early Years of Jesus Christ

Mark 1:1 

1 The beginning of the good news of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

The Pre-Existence of Jesus Christ

Your Twenty-Fourth Literary Gift
Read the Gospel Medley
The Gospel Medley back cover

John 1:1–5, 10–13 

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word  was with God, and the Word was God. [1]2The same was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him. Without Him was not anything made that has been made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness hasn’t overcome it.[2]

Click here for the rest of The Gospel Medley chapter.

Ten Books, Ten Chapters – Book 10

The Book of Revelation Devotional – Advent 19

Understand Revelation
Back cover of The Revelation Devotional.

This is the Revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things which must happen soon, which he sent and made known by his angel to his servant, John, 2 who testified to God’s word and of the testimony of Jesus Christ, about everything that he saw.

What is the origin of the book of Revelation?

How did John get the book of Revelation? Through which Persons did the Revelation pass?

What is the purpose of the Revelation?

Who is the intended audience of Revelation?

What is in the Book of Revelation?

Prayer: Thank You, Almighty God, for giving us the book of Revelation, directly from You through Jesus Christ our Lord. Thank You for using Your created angels and sons of men to spread Your truth through all the world. Amen.

God gives us the name of the book: the Revelation of Jesus Christ. He gives us the topic, things which must happen soon, and shows the provenance of the book as the knowledge flows from His throne through Jesus, to His angel, to John, and then to the whole church.

Click here to get the rest of the first week!


One Last Thing

Understand Revelation
Jeffry Smith, author portrait

If you like these kinds of excerpts, subscribe here, if you haven’t already.

You can get all my autographed books by clicking here.

Get all my ebooks and paperbacks clicking here.

Questions, comments? Contact me here.

Jeffry Smith nonfiction, Andy Zach, fiction

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Oops and More Books on Sale!

Oops! My SciFi latest science news What's New Science

Short Stories About Mistakes

Oops and More Books on Sale! Oops! is down to .99 from June 15th to 22nd. When I published my short story collection, (Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse!which you can get on sale by clicking here) I wanted to tie the stories together with a theme. My theme is accidents causing problems.

Meet My Characters
Oops! Short Stories
Oops! back cover

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.

The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.

Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops and More on Sale – Here’s the More

From June 15th 2025 to June 22nd, The Gospel Medley will be on sale at 66% off!

What’s it about?

Gospel Medley Writer's Block: My Experience
The Gospel Medley cover. Click to get

Are you curious about Jesus Christ? Do you struggle to understand the Bible? The Gospel Medley includes the four Gospels in a single narrative, faithfully pulling the text from the World English Bible. You are now able to read all the gospel as a single, easy-to-read story.

Each Gospel describes Jesus’s life from a different point of view with different details and insights. The Gospel Medley combines every word into a single perspective with all details and events arranged chronologically.

Unlike other harmonies, The Gospel Medley doesn’t put the four gospels in columns or rows. Instead, the text is integrated word by word into a smoothly flowing narrative. Further, each paragraph references the four gospels so you can read the original citations. You also get footnotes of all the quotes from the Old Testament, giving you the context of Jesus’s words.

For a unique perspective of the four gospels, read ‘The Gospel Medley’ today.

Oops and More – Free Short Stories

A queen from long ago

The first mistake is a tragedy–a queen’s husband and son died through drowning.

Oops! Short Stories

The Story of Sound

One queen saw the problem more clearly than anyone else. Her king and prince had both drowned only a short distance from the shore because no one saw them signing for help. The queen sat vigil all night long, and in the morning she sent heralds with large signs in every language to all the humans, elves, dwarves, fairies, leprechauns, and even a dragon. She pled with all to find something that would let creatures communicate without signs or gestures when they couldn’t see each other. She promised she would give whatever was in her power to whoever could accomplish this.

Andy Zach during his doctoral research – on the Phoenix

Where is my mistake in this story? You’ll have to read and find out!

Oops! My SciFi
A Phoenix Tale

I left the air-conditioned comfort of the taxi, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the old bazaar in Jeddah assailed me: a robe-clad man on camel plodded by, an adjacent fishmonger added his smell to the fresh dung in the street, and the hawkers yelled their wares.

I could only speak Arabic at a middle school level, but as I strolled through the bazaar, I heard “Fresh dates!”…”Highest quality rugs!”…”Finest gold jewelry!”… “Ancient books! The rarest in Saudi Arabia!”

My head snapped around. A bald, stumpy man in a white caftan saw me look and said, “Books? You want ancient books?”

“Yes.” I spoke carefully, knowing my poor accent. “Can you speak English?” I didn’t have much hope.

“Of course, my friend. Come into my shop.”

Click for your free short story.


Oops and More – Short Stories from the book

Wheels in Time

This story begins with a girl in a wheelchair being transported by accident to–find out below!

Advent Days 4 
Oops chapter icon
Oop! Short Story

The scene was chaos! I knew immediately I was in a different country, judging by the languages I couldn’t understand. I had also determined this was no modern city—I seemed to be on the outskirts of town amid a swarming crowd. Men were shouting and women were crying; meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out how I had gotten there and where exactly I was. Several seconds later, however, that question was answered.

Get your copy for .99 cents! Click here.

Brice Butterworth, genetic engineer In a Pickle

Genetic engineering seems to be the last place to make mistakes. But that’s what Brice Butterworth does.

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. Brice was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Read more here: In a Pickle

Brice Butterworth is back! – The Butterfly Effect

Brice is one of my favorite characters. I’m eager to write a book just about him.

Oops and More

“Whatcha doing, Brice?” asked my boss Wilma O’Reilly after sneaking up behind me.

I jumped. As usual, I was cruising the internet, bored with my job. How awkward.

We worked at Vegan Inc., an agricultural conglomerate. I was their lead geneticist in charge of enhancing the qualities of the corporation’s vegetable products through genetic modification.

Read more here: The Butterfly Effect

Zombie Shift Anthony Jones, warehouse worker and his wife Raven

In this Oops! Short Story we start with a car accident.

Oops and More

He woke up staring out his windshield at the green grass of the highway median. Dully, Anthony listened to the sound of his car’s engine cooling, ticking like a clock. He didn’t know why he was here or how he got here.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” came a voice from outside the car.

Turning his head toward the sound, he realized he was upside down, supported by his seat belt and his legs, which were strangely numb.

“Uh,” he croaked.

* * *

“We’re going to cast your leg,” said the nurse in the ambulance. Her name tag read Louise Tall, but she didn’t seem tall. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Anthony. Anthony Jones.”

“Do you know your height and weight, Anthony?”

“Five-eleven. Two ten. I need to lose some weight. Ow!”

Oops! is on sale for .99

Oops and More – Short Stories by Andy Zach, Revivificationist

Assisted Living

I’m not immune from mistakes. This is how one mistake make my parents into zombies.

Oops! My SciFi
Advent Days 4 and 5
Oops! Short Stories
Oops and More

I need to tell you about my own zombie story. It’s about how my parents became zombies.

As soon as the zombie turkeys appeared in Illinois, I started cultures of their zombie turkey bacteria in petri dishes. When other animals, squirrels, rabbits, and cows began turning zombie, I added cultures of their bacteria. I sought the ultimate source of animal revivification. It was my PhD thesis and my life’s work.

I’ve always wanted to revive animals from the dead. It seemed the secret was through the special bacteria for each species. Naturally, when humans became zombies, I cultivated their bacteria too.

Read more here.

Here’s a Deadly Mistake – A Dying Business

You can’t get more deadly than a funeral home.

Oops! My SciFi
Advent Days 4 and 5
Oops! Short Stories
Oops and More

He was dead. At least, his business was. And without his business, his wife would leave him and take their new baby. Then he might as well be dead.

His dad had run the Elysium Fields Mortuary for thirty years and had made a killing at it. The first and only mortuary in their small town of Hillvale, everyone got buried there. He charged normal prices, he was friendly, and he helped their community. His dad said to him when he was a teen, “Irving, after you get your college degree, go to mortuary school, and when you come out, I’ll hire you and then turn the business over to you. You’ll be set for life.”

Click to read more A Dying Business

Oops and More Short Stories –

Meet Heather Mallorn, zombie corgi breederHer Majesty’s Corgis

Oops and More

What kind of accidents can happen with zombie corgis?

Breeding zombie corgis wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Heather Mallorn sighed as she reviewed accounts for Her Majesty’s Corgis in Hanna City, Illinois. Certainly, she made plenty on each zombie corgi she sold. Normally, corgi puppies went for $1,200. She earned double that for zombies. The zombie corgies were invincible guard dogs, and cute too, with bright-red eyes. They were no harder to train than regular corgis, just slightly more aggressive. Well, a lot more aggressive.


Get the rest here: Her Majesty’s Corgis

Oops! Short Stories – A Hamster’s Tale

What trouble can a pet hamster cause? Find out below!

 Meet My Characters
Advent Days 4
Oops! Short Stories

How fascinating! Dancer thought. This book says there are libraries where hundreds of books live. It also says the fiction books are in order by author name.

Dancer scurried off Your Sixth Year Reader to look at Jeremy Gentle’s bookshelf again. Jeremy was Dancer’s owner and unknowing educator. Ever since he’d taught himself to read by studying the newspapers lining the bottom of his cage, Dancer had craved reading.

He hadn’t figured out why he’d started reading. One day he’d noticed patterns in the markings. He saw they repeated themselves in clumps. Then the clumps formed more patterns. He also listened to his owners differently. They also spoke in patterns. “Jeremy” was always called “Jeremy” or “Jeremy Gentle” by his mother, and sometimes by his father.

Grab your free short story at this link: A Hamster’s Tale

Caribbean Cruise – can a tropical cruise have mistakes?

 Meet My Characters
Advent Days 4
Oops! Short Stories

“Arrrgh! Me hearties, eat hearty!” said a short, stocky pirate with an eye patch and a captain’s hat seemingly copied from Cap’n Crunch. The pirate gestured, with a hook instead of a right hand, toward an enormous banquet table laden with food. The one visible eye gleamed red.

“Arrrgh! Where’s the skilly and duff?” said a refrigerator-sized bald pirate with an enormous mustache. His eyes also shone crimson.

“Arrrgh! That be the tacos and enchiladas,” said a small, beautiful pirate with dark hair bound by a red bandanna and smiling blood-red eyes. She pointed with her cutlass toward the Mexican section of the smorgasbord.

“Arrrgh! You be a Mexican pirate?” said a blond pirate with broad shoulders and a Cockney accent. She wore her hair in a long queue emerging from a bloody headband around her forehead. She also had glowing ruby eyes.


Basement-Dwelling Gamers Accidentally Discover–? We’ve Got It!

 Meet My Characters
Advent Days 4
Oops! Short Stories

“Okay, that’s it, Tom,” my dad said.

“What’s it?” I asked.

“You’ve got until next week to move out.”

“Um, where will I live?”

“That’s your problem, isn’t it? Try the local apartments. Look for rooms to rent on the internet. It’s not that hard to find a place in Ohio.”

I could tell by his grim expression he was serious this time. He’d been nagging me for nearly a year to move out and “set up housekeeping” ever since I’d graduated from the state university with my BA in video game art and my minor in computer science. I’d managed to wheedle him out of it and delay the date. Until now.

Click to read the rest of We’ve Got It!


Tell Me What you Think

Let me know what you think of my gifts for you by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

What did you like best about this Oops! and More on Sale blog post?

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get Oops on Amazon for 12.95. or $2.99 .) It’ll be on sale for .99 from June 15th to 22nd, 2025.

For an autographed copy of The Gospel Medley, shipped from me, click here.

For Amazon, you can get it at 67% off from June 15th to 22nd. Clickity-click!

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get four of my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

Don’t make another Oops! Short Stories mistake! Or I’ll have to write about it.

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Oops On Sale! My Short Story Book

Oops! My SciFi latest science news What's New Science
Meet My Characters
Oops On Sale
Oops! back cover

Oops On Sale! My Short Story Book – You can meet my characters from Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse, my short story collection. It’s on sale for .99–click here to get yours. I’ve given you samples of my stories in this blog post: Oops! Free Short Stories for You and here: Oops! My SciFi Short Story Book Is On Sale! But now I’ll introduce you to my characters, which are unique.

Note that this book is on sale, so quickly click here to get Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse! The sale ends at 12 am Sunday March 23rd.

Let’s get started with the first character!

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops! back cover

Oops On Sale – Meet My Characters

Here are the chapter icons for Oops, with the main character’s introduction.

A queen from long ago

The Story of Sound

One queen saw the problem more clearly than anyone else. Her king and prince had both drowned only a short distance from the shore because no one saw them signing for help. The queen sat vigil all night long, and in the morning she sent heralds with large signs in every language to all the humans, elves, dwarves, fairies, leprechauns, and even a dragon. She pled with all to find something that would let creatures communicate without signs or gestures when they couldn’t see each other. She promised she would give whatever was in her power to whoever could accomplish this.

Andy Zach during his doctoral research

Oops! My SciFi
A Phoenix Tale

A Phoenix Tale

I left the air-conditioned comfort of the taxi, and the sights, sounds, and smells of the old bazaar in Jeddah assailed me: a robe-clad man on camel plodded by, an adjacent fishmonger added his smell to the fresh dung in the street, and the hawkers yelled their wares.

I could only speak Arabic at a middle school level, but as I strolled through the bazaar, I heard “Fresh dates!”…”Highest quality rugs!”…”Finest gold jewelry!”… “Ancient books! The rarest in Saudi Arabia!”

My head snapped around. A bald, stumpy man in a white caftan saw me look and said, “Books? You want ancient books?”

“Yes.” I spoke carefully, knowing my poor accent. “Can you speak English?” I didn’t have much hope.

“Of course, my friend. Come into my shop.”


Bethany

Wheels in Time

The scene was chaos! I knew immediately I was in a different country, judging by the languages I couldn’t understand. I had also determined this was no modern city—I seemed to be on the outskirts of town amid a swarming crowd. Men were shouting and women were crying; meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out how I had gotten there and where exactly I was. Several seconds later, however, that question was answered.

Brice Butterworth, genetic engineer:

In a Pickle

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. Brice was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Brice Butterworth, genetic engineer

The Butterfly Effect

“Whatcha doing, Brice?” asked my boss Wilma O’Reilly after sneaking up behind me.

I jumped. As usual, I was cruising the internet, bored with my job. How awkward.

We worked at Vegan Inc., an agricultural conglomerate. I was their lead geneticist in charge of enhancing the qualities of the corporation’s vegetable products through genetic modification.

Anthony Jones, warehouse worker

Oops On Sale

Zombie Shift

He woke up staring out his windshield at the green grass of the highway median. Dully, Anthony listened to the sound of his car’s engine cooling, ticking like a clock. He didn’t know why he was here or how he got here.

“Hey, are you okay in there?” came a voice from outside the car.

Turning his head toward the sound, he realized he was upside down, supported by his seat belt and his legs, which were strangely numb.

“Uh,” he croaked.

* * *

“We’re going to cast your leg,” said the nurse in the ambulance. Her name tag read Louise Tall, but she didn’t seem tall. “What’s your name?”

“Uh, Anthony. Anthony Jones.”

“Do you know your height and weight, Anthony?”

“Five-eleven. Two ten. I need to lose some weight. Ow!”

Andy Zach, Revivicationist

Oops! My SciFi
Oops On Sale

Assisted Living

I need to tell you about my own zombie story. It’s about how my parents became zombies.

As soon as the zombie turkeys appeared in Illinois, I started cultures of their zombie turkey bacteria in petri dishes. When other animals, squirrels, rabbits, and cows began turning zombie, I added cultures of their bacteria. I sought the ultimate source of animal revivification. It was my PhD thesis and my life’s work.

I’ve always wanted to revive animals from the dead. It seemed the secret was through the special bacteria for each species. Naturally, when humans became zombies, I cultivated their bacteria too.

Irving Isling, mortician

Oops! My SciFi
Oops On Sale

A Dying Business Oops On Sale

He was dead. At least, his business was. And without his business, his wife would leave him and take their new baby. Then he might as well be dead.

His dad had run the Elysium Fields Mortuary for thirty years and had made a killing at it. The first and only mortuary in their small town of Hillvale, everyone got buried there. He charged normal prices, he was friendly, and he helped their community. His dad said to him when he was a teen, “Irving, after you get your college degree, go to mortuary school, and when you come out, I’ll hire you and then turn the business over to you. You’ll be set for life.”

Sharon Windham, fashion model

Oops! My SciFi

Red-Eye Fashion

The Taser hit me in the back. I convulsed uncontrollably, shocked out of sleep.

“Okay, wakey, wakey. Time to go model for your mistress,” squeaked a high tenor.

The bearded hulk who guarded us held his Taser ready, in case Lulu and I weren’t fast enough. He was so hairy, I couldn’t tell where his beard ended and his chest began. We donned the haute couture apparel set before us. He nodded his approval and gestured toward the door. He always followed us with his Taser.

“We’ve been here weeks and we don’t know your name. What shall we call you?” I ventured. I had some vague hope of putting him at his ease so we could escape.

He laughed. “Call me Gronk.” He wheezed when he laughed.

So I got him to laugh. Maybe that was progress. Maybe not. He also laughed when he tortured us with the Taser.

“Let me check you, Sharon,” Lulu whispered. She examined my back, where the Taser had hit my sleeping form. My muscles still ached. “No marks.”

Heather Mallorn, zombie corgi breeder

Her Majesty’s Corgis – Oops On Sale

Breeding zombie corgis wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

Heather Mallorn sighed as she reviewed accounts for Her Majesty’s Corgis in Hanna City, Illinois. Certainly, she made plenty on each zombie corgi she sold. Normally, corgi puppies went for $1,200. She earned double that for zombies. The zombie corgies were invincible guard dogs, and cute too, with bright-red eyes. They were no harder to train than regular corgis, just slightly more aggressive. Well, a lot more aggressive.


Kayla Verdera, disabled 7th-grade student and superhero

The Secret Supers—Revealed

 Meet My Characters

“Oh no! Did you hear what I just heard?” Aubrey said as soon as she and I rushed up to Jeremy and Dan coming off their bus in the morning at Maryville Middle School.

“No!” Jeremy said, rolling off the bus in his electric wheelchair. Jeremy Gentle was a spindly kid with cerebral palsy. I’d never looked twice at him when I was the most popular and smartest girl in the school. Then I lost my speech and balance to spinal meningitis last year, and I was put in the special-needs class. After we were together awhile, I learned he was as smart as me.

“Of course I heard,” said Dan, who walked behind Jeremy’s wheelchair while holding the back of it and carrying his white cane. “Do you think I’m deaf as well as blind?”

Enough talking! I sent the thought to them all, using my telepathic power. This is too slow! Our math teacher’s car was stolen last night. Mr. Williamson went to play basketball downtown, and when he came out, his car was gone.

I like my friends, but I wish they’d get to the point. We all attended a special disabled class at Maryville Middle School. Disabled kids used to creep me out. Now I, Kayla Verdera, was one of them.

Dancer, a genius hamster

 Meet My Characters
Oops On Sale

A Hamster‘s Tale

How fascinating! Dancer thought. This book says there are libraries where hundreds of books live. It also says the fiction books are in order by author name.

Dancer scurried off Your Sixth Year Reader to look at Jeremy Gentle’s bookshelf again. Jeremy was Dancer’s owner and unknowing educator. Ever since he’d taught himself to read by studying the newspapers lining the bottom of his cage, Dancer had craved reading.

He hadn’t figured out why he’d started reading. One day he’d noticed patterns in the markings. He saw they repeated themselves in clumps. Then the clumps formed more patterns. He also listened to his owners differently. They also spoke in patterns. “Jeremy” was always called “Jeremy” or “Jeremy Gentle” by his mother, and sometimes by his father.

Diane Newby, George Newby, Lulu Gutierrez, and Sharon Wyndham, privateers

Caribbean Cruise – Oops On Sale

 Meet My Characters
Oops On Sale

“Arrrgh! Me hearies, eat hearty!” said a short, stocky pirate with an eye patch and a captain’s hat seemingly copied from Cap’n Crunch. The pirate gestured, with a hook instead of a right hand, toward an enormous banquet table laden with food. The one visible eye gleamed red.

“Arrrgh! Where’s the skilly and duff?” said a refrigerator-sized bald pirate with an enormous mustache. His eyes also shone crimson.

“Arrrgh! That be the tacos and enchiladas,” said a small, beautiful pirate with dark hair bound by a red bandanna and smiling blood-red eyes. She pointed with her cutlass toward the Mexican section of the smorgasbord.

“Arrrgh! You be a Mexican pirate?” said a blond pirate with broad shoulders and a Cockney accent. She wore her hair in a long queue emerging from a bloody headband around her forehead. She also had glowing ruby eyes.


Tom Nuckles, a gamer

 Meet My Characters
Oops On Sale

We’ve Got It!

“Okay, that’s it, Tom,” my dad said.

“What’s it?” I asked.

“You’ve got until next week to move out.”

“Um, where will I live?”

“That’s your problem, isn’t it? Try the local apartments. Look for rooms to rent on the internet. It’s not that hard to find a place in Ohio.”

I could tell by his grim expression he was serious this time. He’d been nagging me for nearly a year to move out and “set up housekeeping” ever since I’d graduated from the state university with my BA in video game art and my minor in computer science. I’d managed to wheedle him out of it and delay the date. Until now.


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