Long form trailers would be up to five hundred words. Here’s mine:
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em – they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. As Sam tracks down the zombie turkeys and how to eradicate them, his editor, Lisa Kambacher, nags him to turn his stories and expenses in on time. During their years of working together, Lisa has mellowed from bitchy into an irascible pinchpenny.
Lisa snipes at Sam for plebeian writing but uses her intelligence to pursue the lucrative carnivorous turkey story. Sam and Lisa ricochet across the landscape, tracking turkeys and fleeing the bloodthirsty hordes. Careening from shell-shocked grocery store owners fighting turkeys crawling out of refrigerators, to machine-gunning turkey farmers, to secret militia, Sam and Lisa doggedly report. Throughout the turkey apocalypse, they dare ravaged cities, plow knee-deep in gore and corpses, and upload streams of zombie turkey video news to the world.
With paranoid militias clashing with the federal government and unkillable turkeys, Sam and Lisa doubt their ability to survive. Sam and Lisa have no superpowers. If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not listen to Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to find out what happens.
Short form trailers would be up to one hundred words. Here’s mine:
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger.
If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not read Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to.
3 Media Kit Tips for the New Year – and another free preview
My work is cut out for me this coming year! I’ve got to bring my media kit up to date! I’ll give you 3 Media Kit Tips I’ve learned and show you how to do them!
A media kit is a document containing information about your business, product or event. They are mainly used at events and for launches as a package of information for journalists to help them write their story.
It seems basic, simple, but it’s very necessary. Your website visitors don’t want to waste time looking for your media kit.
Oh, you don’t think you need one? How do you feel about communicating with your readers? Your customers? People in the media, writers, reporters, photographers, book reviewers, interviewers all help you do that. Don’t you want to help them?
The Second Tip – Navigation of the Media Kit
Navigation? ‘We don’t need no stinkin’ navigation!’
You probably also said, ‘We don’t need no stinkin’ headline,’ too. And you’re probably a poor, struggling, indie author who’s wondering why everyone doesn’t buy your ‘stinkin’ book’.
Just humor me, and try it on your website. With the other two tips I give you.
Of course, I have website navigation, but I’ve never had media kit navigation–until now. (I’m also a struggling indie author and a natural-born hypocrite!)
In my next blog post! In the meantime, tell me what I’m doing right or wrong; let me have it! I’ll listen and learn.
Finally, Your Paranormal Privateers Preview
In Tattersalls, a London pub, David Leicester looked up from his half-finished pint of Guinness as a new guy came in. Leastways, he thought it was a new guy; he looked very familiar. The new pubber had a square, muscular build, like a serviceman, but gray hair like David had, and light blue eyes. The bloke gave him a big smile like he knew him. Then the light dawned.
“Paul! Is that you, Paul Huddersfield? I guess your time in the colonies agreed with you!” David knew Paul had gone to the US to get a special cancer treatment. Although the PHS, Public Health Service, was free, the waiting lists for treatment were long; sometimes too long for life.
But Paul looked far better than just healthy. His beer belly was completely gone, replaced by flat muscle, as far as David could tell. Further, his face was less wrinkled and less worried than the last time he’d seen him. If it weren’t for the gray hair, David would think he was seeing Paul as he was in the SAS when he was around forty, twenty-five years ago.
“Let me buy you a pint!”
“I’ll never say no to that!” Paul’s voice was younger too; stronger, more vigorous than it had been in years.
“So tell me all about the States! I can see the cancer treatment was successful.”
“I had a fine time there. They’re great people, but I missed my fish and chips, and good beer. And, my old buds.”
“Did they put you on some kind of exercise program? You look brilliant!”
Paranormal Privateers Preview Part 2
“Thanks, David. You can say that. I got a secret for you.” He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, although no one was within three meters of them at the bar. “I’m a zombie!”
David just stared at him.
“Yeah, I know I’m illegal. Look at me orbs.”
Squinting, David saw the faint line of contact lenses.
“So, how does that,” David avoided the ‘z’ word, “make you look twenty years younger? Hell, you look thirty years younger, except for the hair!”
“It’s like this. I feel like I’m twenty years old, full of energy, ready to tackle the world. I’m hungry all the time and I can eat anything—and drink anything. In fact, the only drawback I’ve found it that I can’t get drunk.”
“That’s brilliant! But what about the anti-zombie law?”
“Shhh! I’m here as an undeclared zebra. Here comes Andy.”
Andrew (Andy) Smith, the second member of their SAS squad walked to the bar. “Paul! I hardly recognized you! You look smashing!”
“I feel smashing too! I’m a zebra!” Paul laughed.
“Right.”
“Uh, Andy, ‘zebra’ is code for,” David whispered, “zombie.”
“Oh! I think I need a pint.”
Overhearing Andy, Christopher Stewart, the last member of their retired SAS squad, called out, “Get a pint for me too!” as he walked up and sat with them at their table.
“Big news Christopher!” Andy said. “Paul’s become a zebra!”
“Make that two pints!” Then they explained to him about Paul’s new illegal status.
“Make that three pints!”
“I’ll have three with you!” laughed Paul.
“We’ll make that an even dozen then!”
“Just bring the keg over here!”
The barmaid brought pint after pint to the table as the old friends shared stories and marveled at Paul.
Paranormal Privateers Preview Part 3
“So you can drink all night and never get drunk?” Christopher asked some time later.
“Sorry to say, yes.”
“And your beer belly just disappears?” Andy queried.
“Right. It took about a month after I became a zebra.”
“And all your old aches and injuries are gone, right?” David followed up.
“Right, just like I told you five minutes ago.”
“Hell,” ejaculated Stewart, “why don’t we all become bloody zebras?”
“I’m in!” said Andy.
“Me too,” David said.
“You’ve come to the right man, boys.” Paul pulled out three EpiPens from his coat pocket. “One for each of you, guaranteed to make you into zebras! All I ask is free beer for the rest of my life!”
“Deal!” exclaimed David. “One, two, ready, go!” They all jammed the EpiPens into their legs.
“How long does it take?” asked Andy.
“Not long,” said Paul. “Maybe an hour.”
“Might as well keep drinking. I’ve got a good buzz. I want to enjoy it as long as I can!”
![Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World by [Hyatt, Michael]](https://i0.wp.com/images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51-RZ4y3-xL.jpg?w=980&ssl=1)
Audiobook 
