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Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late!

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late!

It’s never too late for zombie turkeys to show up; they’re diurnal. But in four days it’ll be too late for Free Zombie Turkeys. Click the book cover below to get it now.

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It's Too Late!
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

Don’t Want Free Zombie Turkeys in a Poke?

Have a taste of Zombie Turkeys, read by your’s truly, Andy Zach, on my Youtube channel.

 

But Don’t Take Andy’s Word for Free Zombie Turkeys

Check out some of the eight glowing Amazon reviews laughing readers have given it since its publication last October 31st.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This one is definitely NOT a turkey!, July 18, 2017
By
This review is from: Zombie Turkeys: How an Unknown Blogger Fought Unkillable Turkeys (The Life After Life Chronicles Book 1) (Kindle Edition)

‘He felt great. He was full of energy, he had many hens to breed with, and he was the leader of a great flock.’

Sam Melvin is a reporter with the Midley Beacon, it’s a tiny local paper – with an online presence – run by its penny-pinching editor Lisa Kambacher. When Sam sees the two turkey hunters on the slab in the local mortuary, he knows he has a story to cover and he sets out to do so with great gusto. As the zombie turkeys multiply, Sam and Lisa are the leading media team on the ground and the Midley Beacon goes international, solving their financial woes and syndicating their work across the globe. But it’s not all good news. After all, there are those people-killing zombie turkeys heading into town…

This was a book I picked up with trepidation as it seemed all too possible it would be a ‘one trick pony’ stretching a single joke to beyond breaking point across the length of an entire novel. Wrong! It is like a bowl of potpourri on the sideboard of life – lots of subtle blending examples of humour – many of them very American so I suspect there were even more than I noticed, handicapped by my British perspective. This is a book that takes ironic comedy to a whole new level – maybe ‘steelic’ comedy…? Humour is a very personal thing, but this book hit me right on the funny bone.

‘Wanted badly: .30-06 carbine. Will trade hunting dog or wife for it.’

This is a well-written book which takes a totally deadpan approach to a thoroughly – hysterically – funny sequence of events. It is dark comedy, so avoid if you are squeamish. The pace of the book rolls along in a perfect, unhurried way – screaming up into the action sequences and taking time to enjoy the more delicious moments of humour.

The story itself is a lot deeper than many real zombie books and the explanation for the zombie phenomenon is as clever as it is satirical.The characters are well portrayed, deep enough to engage with and care about, but not so deep you get distracted from what they are doing by their personalities. They are the agents through which we see the events unfolding rather than the focus of the story. But the humour is subtle, all-pervading: like the idea of the survivalist organic turkey farmer, part of a network of such, living off grid – except for ordering things from Amazon on his wife’s credit card of course…

‘The most disheartening thing was, she’d stab one through the heart, it’d drop fifteen feet to the ground with a satisfying thud, and then it’d stagger to its feet five minutes later and fly back up fifteen minutes later.’

The downside is that maybe some of the humour is lost on a non-US reader. There were a couple of moments I thought ‘Huh?’ then decided it was probably a reference to something outside my cultural parameters. The only other criticism I had was that it maybe played the theme along a tiny bit too far and perhaps had a few scenes been a bit shorter, a bit less detail on the way the plague spread, or a couple of turkey attacks left out – it might have been a sharper read. But these are very minor nit-picks against the whole.This is a book I can recommend wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoys slow-boil satire and does not mind a few gory giblets thrown in the mix. If you want a good comedy read, you should gobble this up!

Did Someone Say “Gobble”?

Watch another video of a gobbling turkey:

Next, take a gander at this one:

What Can Top Free Zombie Turkeys?

Maybe some cranberry sauce? How about a sequel, My Undead Mother-in-law? You can get it on Kindle by clicking here:

Andy Zach TV Version for "My Undead Mother-in-law" Launch
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!

Or you can have a print book shipped to you by clicking on the chapter icon below:

My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon

 

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New Book My Undead Mother-in-law Coming in July

My New Book My Undead Mother-in-law is going on sale in July 2017! This will be the second volume in my Life After Life Chronicles series. Here’s the preliminary cover next:

New Book My Undead Mother-in-law Coming in July
Preview Cover of “My Undead Mother-in-law”

If you hurry, you can still read the first book in the series, Zombie Turkeys before it comes out. Click on the next image to get it.

Continue reading New Book My Undead Mother-in-law Coming in July

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6 Writing Tips SEO and a Free Book

I’ve collected 6 Writing Tips SEO and a free book.  Enjoy!

First off, let me share some things I learned about SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and images. Let me know what you think!

And here’s another fascinating tip about using visual elements to focus your reader’s attention:

First Tip

Here’s some good, practical advice about building your writing platform.  It’s good because it focuses on what works.

The Second Tip

Forget the idea of the lone writer in a garret. Instead copy Hemmingway, who worked with a group of writers.

Your Third Tip

If you pursue self-publishing for your book, don’t make these mistakes!

Your Fourth Tip on Instagram

Do you promote your books on Instagram? If so, this article can be helpful.

A Strange Turkey Occurrence

We interrupt your 6 Writing Tips SEO and free book blog post for a strange turkey news story.

Your Fifth Tip, On Typography

If you’re an author and you have a website, this article matters to you.

The Sixth and Last Tip – 13 Editing Tips

Here’s a .99 Book

Before the free book, I’ve got a .99 book for you.

Here’s a Free Book

I know, it’s not fantasy or science fiction. But it’s free and it’s a book! That’s two good things, right?

Finally, Enter Here for a Free Copy of Zombie Turkeys, or My Undead Mother-in-law

Why is it the best giveaways are last?  Oh, I know: it’s so you’ll read the whole article.  Unless you just skipped down to the bottom for the free stuff?  If so, you’re welcome to the free books!

To enter the monthly drawing (held on April 30th–so hurry!) first enter your email here.  Then click Subscribe button on the zombieturkeys.com homepage. Finally, you’ll get a confirmation email which you need to confirm.

If you want to read free excerpts of Zombie Turkeys, you can go to the ebook page on Amazon and check it out.

That’s it for today!  Andy Zach, signing out!

6 Writing Tips SEO
Andy’s autographed picture
Free Zombie Book Drawing
Cover of Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.