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5 Weird Things I’ve Never Shared With You

5 Weird Things I’ve Never Shared With You in the whole three years I’ve been writing this blog. How can I be sure? I’ve just learned about them in the past month.

But first, let’s have this:

I wasn’t planning to count this as one weird thing since it’s satire, but I wanted to start with something funny.

Okay, this next item begins the weirdness:

This triggered so many things in my mind: first, the cloaking field from Star Trek.

The Enterprise decloaking

Next, Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility:

https://giphy.com/gifs/harry-potter-magic-J5lxA8X7kisRG
Harry Potter getting his invisibility on

But the oldest example is below:

The Invisible Man – “I’ll show you!”

On we go to the next weird thing.

Your Second Weird Thing of 5 Weird Things

How can I not have the phrase ‘intelligent slime mold’ in my blog post? You may ask, ‘How can a slime mold be intelligent?” They can efficiently solve the famous ‘Travelling Salesman’ problem. You haven’t heard of that? Check out the following article:

5 Weird Things
The Travelling Salesman Problem – click the image for more

Earlier in my life, I worked in operations research and this problem was difficult to solve by computer. How difficult? It belongs to a class of problems called ‘NP hard problems’. That means the difficulty goes up as a factorial (1*2*3 = 3 factorial) of the number of cities.

You can solve this by brute computing force, but the slime mold does it without brains! That’s weird.

Your Third Weird Thing

But first, a book break!

I am an author, so I love books. Tell me your favorite and I’ll send you a free short story.

On to our next weird thing! How about a robot that does gymnastics? It also weighs about four hundred pounds.

If this robot isn’t grist for a science fiction story, then I’ve never read SciFi before!

The Penultimate Weird Thing

I love vocabulary for its own sake, ever since I read the ‘Abecedarian Book’ when I was twelve. Penultimate is one of those weird words you read, but may not know the meaning. Look it up.

I read this book when I was 12.

Your new weird thing begins here.

Do you believe this?

You know it’s weird when you can’t believe it (I didn’t) and yet it’s true.

The Last Weird Thing of 5 Weird Things – And Free Stuff

Who doesn’t like dragons?

Finally, I bid you adieu!

5 Weird Things
Andy Zach at Archon in St. Louis

PS: I forgot to tell you where you can get free stuff.

First, you can get 31 free books here:

5 Weird Things
Click image to get 31 free books

Then, you can get my comic paranormal animal book, Zombie Turkeys here:

5 Weird Things
Click to get your free copy
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How I Published 4 Books in 3 Years – You Can Too

Yes, I Published 4 Books in 3 Years. Here they are:

Published 4 Books
Andy Zach’s Published 4 Books

First I published Zombie Turkeys on October 31, 2016. Then ten months later, out popped My Undead Mother-in-law on August 5, 2017. I still strove to hit my nine-month publishing goal with Paranormal Privateers, which debuted on May 5, 2018. Finally, I switched genres to middle-school science fiction with Secret Supers, appearing March 29, 2019.

I feel like these dates are the birthdays of my children!

4 Books Published
The Andy Zach Family, before publishing

In the next section, I’ll give you a rundown of my steps in publishing.

4 Books Published – First Zombie Turkeys

  1. I wrote the first draft in November – December 2015 – I used NaNoWriMo (National November Writing Month) as my motivation. You can too!
  2. Then I self-edited my book – inefficiently. January to March 2016. I checked grammar and spelling and reviewed checklists of what not to do. I think I went through six or seven revisions.
  3. Next, I studied publishing and self-publishing. ‘Dan Poynter’s Self-Publishing Manual, Volume 2‘ and How I Sold 30,000 eBooks on Amazon’s Kindle were my primary influences.
  4. In April, I worked with an editor for the first time. April to August 2016, Dori Harrell. She’ll work with you too! This created another six or seven revisions.
  5. I knew I needed a cover artist, so I got one: Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan. We went through ten ideas and we selected the handprint cover. August to September 2016.
  6. Then, I bought IBSNs from Bowker. September 2016.
  7. After this, I set up Amazon Kindle and Createspace accounts. They’re now merged. September 2016.
  8. I learned I needed a format editor: someone who edits the text into ebook and print formats, Rik Hall of Wild Seas Formating. You need him, too. September 2016
  9. I set up a website, zombieturkeys.com. It’s now merged with andyzach.net. October 2016
  10. Finally, I uploaded my edited ebook and print book with their covers to Amazon and set the launch date to October 31st. October 2016
  11. Before I could order books, Amazon had to approve them. As soon as they did, I ordered my print books. Mid-October 2016.
  12. Then, I set up my book launch party at the Peoria North Library for October 31st. That was probably a mistake. I learned that some people were out, due to Halloween.
  13. I got my print books in the mail. Huzzah! I got them just before the launch party. Late October 2016.
4 Books Published
My First Book Copy

The first concept sketch for Zombie Turkeys:

Zombie Turkey Concept Art

Zombie Turkeys, the first sketch

Next, My Undead Mother-in-law

I knew I had to surpass my first book with my second one. I had to be crazier, funnier, wilder, more exciting, more violent. In November of 2016 when I wrote my first draft of My Undead Mother-in-law. I’ll tell you what I learned through that book in my next blog post.

This one is long enough.

But naturally, you’ll have questions. Ask me! I‘ll do my best to answer you.

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Events, News, and Gifts for You from Friendly Author

“Events, News? Who cares! Where are the gifts?” you ask. I’m happy to answer. My first gift is a free ebook for anyone who has reviewed the book, or wants to review it. Just send me your review link to your Amazon review or Goodreads review of any of my books.

Events News
Andy Zach’s books

Or use the same link to contact me and get a free ebook in exchange for a future review.

Or, if you like audiobooks, I’ll give you a free one to review. Check them out below. You can listen to a sample for free. Or, if you belong to Audible, you can listen for free.

Events, News
Zombie Turkeys free audiobook sample
Events, News
My Undead Mother-in-law free audio sample
Events, News
Paranormal Privateers audiobook sample

That’s three ways you can get free books. If you don’t want to write reviews, you can enter my two monthly drawings right here. I have another one coming up in October, so don’t miss it.

My newsletter also supplies free short stories to subscribers. So you get a twofer.

Events, News for those who want to meet Andy Zach

On September 21st, first day of autumn, I’ll be at the I Know You Like A Book bookstore in Peoria Heights signing my books for you.

Then there’s Area 51 meeting in Nevada. I won’t be there. Will you? If you go there, give me a report and I’ll give you a book of your choice, the format of your choice: paperback, ebook, or audiobook.

Did you know I have aliens in my third novel of my Life After Life Chronicles, Paranormal Privateers? Here’s a chapter icon for you:

Now here you have another chapter icon from Paranormal Privateers showing one alien species, the foxcat.

Yet More Events

I’ll be at QuadCon in Peoria in October!

Come to Peoria, meet me, and mention this blog and I’ll give you a free book and autograph!