Latest zombie humor from around the web!

Let’s kick off the latest zombie humor post with an invasion from alien chickens! The zombie connection is that my third zombie humor novel Paranormal Privateers has flying saucers in it.

Then we’ll follow up with these predictions of 1960 – from 1900.

We interrupt Latest zombie humor for a free . . .

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The first is for a paperback or ebook version of Zombie Turkeys or My Undead Mother-in-law.

The second giveaway is for a free audiobook copy of either.

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More of the Latest zombie humor right here

How about some Weird Al Yankovic and hernia humor?

How is this related to zombies? Zombies can’t get hernias, at least in my books! They’re twice as strong as normal human beings and quickly heal from any injury!

Then I have this tried and true zombie turkeys stop action video. Enjoy!

Yet Another Freebie . . . My latest . . .

excerpt of my new novel Paranormal Privateers.

We sat quietly in the darkness for an hour, gaining strength.

“I know they’re sending the zombie animals to attack, but I’d like to get out and greet them.” Diane was very fond of the zombie corgis, bulls, and turkeys that we kept onboard the ship.

“I’m feeling pretty good. Let’s see if I can make a dent in that door.” I went to the door and felt carefully around the edges.  There were no gaps, but the door wriggled slightly against the steel rods holding it closed.

“Hmmm. I might as well attack the sides of the container as the door. I don’t want to bang against it, but that’s the only way to fatigue the metal and bust out of here. What’s to stop them from coming and firing another flechette rocket or two?”

“How about if we get out with one big bang?” suggested Sharon.

“How do we do that?”

“I’ve got two shaped explosive charges right here.”

“And I’ve got two more,” chimed in Lulu.

“How? How did you smuggle them in?”

Paranormal Privateers Excerpt, Part 2

“Let’s just say our figures have some additional padding,” Lulu said. She sounded like she was smiling in the dark.

“Oho! Your padded bras have C4 explosive!” Diane exclaimed. “I wish I had thought of that. I’ll do that from now on!”

“You don’t need any more padding,” I said, sotto voce.

“You got it in one,”  Sharon admitted.

Our bodyguards fixed the four shaped charges around the door, right behind the two steel rods holding the door closed.  We retreated to the other end of the container and covered our ears as Lulu detonated them.

BANG! The pressure wave bounced off our end of the container and slammed into the back of the door, now containing four holes where the rods used to be. The door squealed on its hinges and hung open.

“It worked!” Diane squealed.

“Let’s go and hit them before they come here with the flechette rockets,” I suggested.

“Charge! I’ve got some Somali butt I want to kick!” Diane yelled. Lulu and Sharon and I tried to keep up with her as she ran out of the container.