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What’s It Like Going to a Book Convention as an Author?

Book Convention

What’s It Like Going to a Book Convention as an Author? I just went to the Book Rack in Peoria on April 24th and I’ll tell you all about it.

Posted by Book Rack Used Books & Gifts on Saturday, April 24, 2021

My tie is a bit out of control, but that’s normal. I got it fixed before customers showed up. Now let me tell you about everything that happened before this picture.

Book Convention – Step 1 Make a List and Check It Twice

First, I make a check list. Here it is:

Life After Life Chronicles banner for Book Convention
Enjoy all four novels in audiobook, paperback, or Kindle format!
  1. Books – All six that I’ve published: Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, Paranormal Privateers, Oops!, Secret Supers, and Villain’s Vacation. There are a total of 150 which I carry in a rolling suitcase.
  2. 8-foot table and a chair. Where else would I sit?
  3. Black table cloth.
  4. 6 book stands
  5. Turkey puppet and statues including one that holds candy.
  6. Electronics: laptop, two cell phones (one for wireless hotspot, one for Square reader), Square credit card reader.
  7. Newsletter signup list
  8. Business cards
  9. Bookmarks. I give one away with each book purchased
  10. Sales receipt book
  11. Daytimer for notes. I get a lot of ideas at every one of these conventions.
  12. Charging cords and power block, and extension cord. I always use all of them.
  13. Book banners/signs. I have five. I used four at this venue.
  14. Stickers which say ‘Signed by Author’. Surprisingly, people buy more books if I pre-sign them.
  15. Cash box to hold receipts and to make change.
  16. Duck tape – it’s always useful

Step Two – Pack Everything

This is where I load up my trusty van the night before. The books fill my rolling suitcase. I need another book box to hold the last twenty or so. I’m ever hopeful, so I pack them all!

I really couldn’t sleep if I didn’t pack everything in the car but my electronics and my cash box. I also take a packed lunch and the thermos of tea.

Stanley Thermos for Book Convention
Stanley Thermos

Book Convention – Arrive and Set Up

This usually takes half an hour. I needed an extra ten minutes because the zipper on my suitcase got stuck. I have an extra half hour for things to go bad, so I was ready at a quarter to ten. That’s when the picture got taken. Here are some more:

Posted by Book Rack Used Books & Gifts on Saturday, April 24, 2021
Posted by Book Rack Used Books & Gifts on Saturday, April 24, 2021

At A Book Convention – Selling Books

My main method for selling books is reading the first page of Zombie Turkeys, if they’re interested in my comical zombie series. Here I am, five years ago doing that on Youtube

Andy Zach reading Zombie Turkeys

But before you can sell books, you have to talk to people. There were no people there; it was drizzling and about fifty degrees. (That’s about 12 degrees Centigrade).

Then people showed up in the rain. And they didn’t talk to me. They actively looked away from me. That’s a clue–“I don’t want to look at you so I don’t have to talk to you.”

That’s how my time passed, from ten to twelve o’clock. Then I talked to some people. I read Zombie Turkeys. No sales.

Then a lady came by with her eleven or twelve-year-old daughter. Ideal, for me! I pitched Secret Supers to them. “This series is about four 7th-graders in a disabled, special ed class who get superpowers, and then use them to fight crime. They use their disabilities to hide their secret identities.”

Success! They bought both Secret Supers and Villain’s Vacation. Then there was no action for half an hour.

Then the bookstore owner came by, “One of my friends wants to buy all your books. If I give you her phone number, can you handle the credit card purchase?”

Can I? In a heartbeat! I called her and sold all my books to her. I left her signed books at the bookstore. She’d seen the Book Rack posts on Instagram and called her friend to get them.

Next, the lady and her daughter came by again and bought Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law. I was up to ten books sold, and there were still four hours left!

I ended up selling fifteen books.

Got Any Questions?

Do you have any questions? I’ll give you a free ebook, Zombie Turkeys, if you ask me one right now. Or, you can just subscribe to my funny newsletter. I give away five audiobooks (soon to be six!) and Zombie Turkeys to my subscribers.

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Laugh At My Free Short Story Audio Dramatization

Andy Zach Newsletter

“Audio Dramatization? Are you doing this, Andy Zach?”

“Don’t I wish! I’m not this talented. But Chris Herron is.”

“Who’s he?”

“Creator of podcast, website, and Youtube channel Tall Tales.”

“So what short story is this?”

“It’s my favorite short story I’ve ever written: In A Pickle.”

“Can I listen to it and read along?”

“You bet. Here’s the link to the short story. It’ll open in a new tab. The dramatization is below. Be sure to be sitting down and don’t operate heavy machinery while you listen to it. Note that this short story and many others are in my book, Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse.

The Audio Dramatization

It begins like this:

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. He was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

Brice couldn’t think. He couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

From the Tall Tales website

In A Pickle short story.

Get more short stories here . . .

I give away free short stories to my newsletter subscribers. Just click here to subscribe.

Some more short stories I have for you:

A Phoenix Tale Icon

A Phoenix Tale – I tell of my college studies of the phoenix and how I got one as a pet.

Audio Dramatization
The Butterfly Effect

Brice Butterworth tries again to improve the productivity of Vegan Inc with completely unexpected results.

Thankful
A Hamster’s Tale

Find out what it’s like to be a superhero hamster–from the hamsters point of view.

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Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations v. Zombie Turkeys

Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

The CDC has issued Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations. Zombie apocalypse is a common fictional and video game trope. Read their recommendations right here:

Andy Zach told me he'll evaulate this guide against the zombie turkey apocalypse.

Posted by Zombie Turkeys on Friday, March 12, 2021

Naturally, as the author of Zombie Turkeys, I wondered how well their recommendations would with my zombie turkey apocalypse. Let’s take a look.

Zombie Turkeys versus the CDC Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

For those who aren’t familiar with Zombie Turkeys, here’s the blurb:

Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country.

Zombie Turkeys Blurb

So these zombies are a lot worse than regular zombies. They regenerate, they don’t decay. Good luck trying to kill them. Let’s see what the CDC says.

Here is the CDC's Zombie Apocalypse guide. I'll be publishing a commentary on it soon.

Posted by Zombie Turkeys on Sunday, March 14, 2021

Their first recommendation? Be prepared. Have these supplies:

CDC Emergency page.

Water (1 gallon per person per day)

Food (stock up on non-perishable items that you eat regularly)

Medications (this includes prescription and non-prescription meds)

Tools and Supplies (utility knife, duct tape, battery powered radio, etc.)

Sanitation and Hygiene (household bleach, soap, towels, etc.)

Clothing and Bedding (a change of clothes for each family member and blankets)

Important documents (copies of your driver’s license, passport, and birth certificate to name a few)

First Aid supplies (although you’re a goner if a zombie bites you, you can use these supplies to treat basic cuts and lacerations that you might get during a tornado or hurricane)

CDC’s Recommendations

So, how does this stack up to zombie turkeys? Pretty well. One of the recommendations is to stay inside your house or bomb shelter until they go away. All these supplies will help as you hunker down.

Let me know if you have any further ideas. I’ll give you a free Zombie Turkeys book!

Your Next Zombie Apocalypse Recommendation

After your emergency kit you need to have an evacuation plan.

Picture of Family by mailbox
Family members meeting by their mailbox. You should pick two meeting places, one close to your home and farther away
  1. Identify the types of emergencies that are possible in your area. Besides a zombie apocalypse, this may include floods, tornadoes, or earthquakes. If you are unsure contact your local Red Cross chapter for more information.
  2. Pick a meeting place for your family to regroup in case zombies invade your home…or your town evacuates because of a hurricane. Pick one place right outside your home for sudden emergencies and one place outside of your neighborhood in case you are unable to return home right away.
  3. Identify your emergency contacts. Make a list of local contacts like the police, fire department, and your local zombie response team. Also identify an out-of-state contact that you can call during an emergency to let the rest of your family know you are ok.
  4. Plan your evacuation route. When zombies are hungry they won’t stop until they get food (i.e., brains), which means you need to get out of town fast! Plan where you would go and multiple routes you would take ahead of time so that the flesh eaters don’t have a chance! This is also helpful when natural disasters strike and you have to take shelter fast.

How well does this plan handle zombie turkeys? Pretty well, but you need a secure building or location where zombie turkeys can’t reach you. Remember, they can fly and peck through glass. Cinder blocks and bunkers are your friends!

Plan evacuation by car, since they only fly about twenty miles per hour. Try to avoid driving into large flocks, since they can stall your car. That would be very bad.

Your Third Step to Surviving Zombie Turkeys

The CDC’s final recommendation?

If zombies did start roaming the streets, CDC would conduct an investigation much like any other disease outbreak. CDC would provide technical assistance to cities, states, or international partners dealing with a zombie infestation. This assistance might include consultation, lab testing and analysis, patient management and care, tracking of contacts, and infection control (including isolation and quarantine).

It’s likely that an investigation of this scenario would seek to accomplish several goals: determine the cause of the illness, the source of the infection/virus/toxin, learn how it is transmitted and how readily it is spread, how to break the cycle of transmission and thus prevent further cases, and how patients can best be treated. Not only would scientists be working to identify the cause and cure of the zombie outbreak, but CDC and other federal agencies would send medical teams and first responders to help those in affected areas (I will be volunteering the young nameless disease detectives for the field work).

Zombie Apocalypse Recommendations

Get The Final Authority On Zombie Turkeys Here

Getting more information is always good. Read all about it in my book Zombie Turkeys, now on sale for .99.

Finally, don’t miss further zombie apocalypse advice. Subscribe now to my newsletter and get five free audiobooks!