The Best November Internet for You–since I read most of the internet and selected these gems for you.
Let’s start with the biggest bang I can:
In this video, unbelievable resolution and detail will amaze you. You could use this video could use it as an animated background on an endless loop and never get tired of it.
Never Before Published: Zombie Detective Foreword
Zombie Detective Review
Zombie Detective
Dear Friends, honestly you need to read this book…I mean, who dedicates a book to Dashiell Hammett, creator of Sam Spade? None other than my friend Andy Zach!
This alone should make you run to Amazon and get Zombie Detective! Yes, Andy’s adorable character investigator Sam is now a detective! And the laughs start right out of the gate!
Not only is Thanksgiving upon us, and that means turkey in every form imaginable, you need to reading about Zombie Turkeys along with eating them (well, hopefully just real turkeys!).
This book takes Andy’s clever writing to new levels! It is fast paced and fun! I cannot say enough good things about it except you need to read it!
Even the cover is masterfully done to take you right back to Sam Spade! (#samspade) So if detective stories with a lot of adventure and down right laughs are your cup of tea, do it. I promise you will not regret it!
Zombie Detective Audiobook Preview – My latest book Zombie Detective is on sale. (Click here to get it before the sale ends) I’m giving you a preview of this audiobook! This is the first time I’ve EVER uploaded a pre-production version of any audiobook.
Now, this audiobook won’t be published until Christmas. If you’re dying to hear more of this story, check out the other audiobooks in the Life After Life Chronicles series. I list them below.
Ace zombie reporter Sam Melvin has been fired–by his wife, Lisa. Their paper, The Midley Beacon, is barely surviving. How will they make ends meet?
Sam decides to give being a detective a try. He advertises his business–but his zombie experience comes with it. All across the country, people bring their zombie problems to Sam. Squirrels? Bulls? Sam’s on the case. But can his experience with zombie turkeys transfer?
Sam finds out in a series of deadly adventures–and so will you when you read this book. See if you can keep from dying from laughter.
Zombie Turkeys – The Zombie Detective Audiobook Story Begins
Audiobook cover – click to listen.
Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country.
Sam’s editor, Lisa Kambacher, snipes at Sam for plebeian writing but uses her intelligence to pursue the lucrative carnivorous turkey story. Sam and Lisa ricochet across the landscape, tracking turkeys and fleeing the bloodthirsty hordes.
Sam and Lisa doubt their ability to survive. If you have a heart condition or lack humor, you should not read Zombie Turkeys, no matter how much you want to find out what happens.
My mother-in-law’s a zombie. And she has anger-management issues.
My mother-in-law, Diane Newby, zombified by accident. She still volunteers at her church bake sales and cooks pot roast for her daughter and son-in-law, Ron Yardley. What ticks her off is when people don’t treat her like a normal human being – with glowing red eyes and super strength and speed. And if she doesn’t get her own way, look out. She explodes and leaves broken plaster and body parts in her wake. Nothing stops her: not brick walls, the federal government, or middle-aged spread.
But the world’s most powerful criminal plans to control zombies. His only problem with zombies is that they have way too much free will. He has a solution for that. But will it work with Diane Newby?
The world divides into pro-zombie and anti-zombie factions. Battles break out everywhere. Which side will you take? Who will live and who will die?
You might not survive this audiobook. But at least you’ll die laughing.
Middle-aged, overweight, and undead, Diane Newby leads the paranormal privateers against criminals and corruption. Sailing to trouble spots too sensitive for the US government, with zombie strength and regeneration they beat bullies into submission. Aided by zombie turkeys, corgis, and bulls, vicious criminal geniuses fall before them. If Diane gets overwhelmed by foes, her lovely zombie bodyguards and romantic zombie husband come to the rescue.
Out of the blue, new foes appear. Or are they friends? Or both? The frenemies neutralize zombies and orchestrate world peace. They disrupt the economy and produce fabulous wealth. Even the greatest criminals and governments can’t stop them from dominating the world.
Can humanity afford the price of peace? All must surrender freedom to a not-so-benign dictatorship. Diane and the paranormal privateers must do the unthinkable to save humanity. But is it enough?
In an explosive and unconventional ending to Andy Zach’s Life After Life Chronicles, you will learn what happens when the paranormal privateers meet the world’s greatest fear. And you will laugh all the way.
How can there be more to the Chronicles than the last book–so far? How about a collection of short stories, assembled from before, during and after the Chronicles? Here they are.
Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.
The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years – from aliens.
Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul.
Get Your Free Books and Laughs Right Here from author Andy Zach. You can win 50 free books and Andy will share his funniest memes with you.
“What?!” you say. “Where can I win 50 free books? What kind of books are they?”
“Science fiction series starters. Here you go. Click and enter the contest.”
Now Have Your Laughs. Read and Try Not to Weep from Your Laughter
Maybe you’re on a butter-free diet. Try the next one.
We all love little people who live in our homes, don’t we?
Get Your Free Books and Laughs – A new short story for you
Author Tori Smith has kindly agreed to share her hilarious short story. You can read it on Wattpad.com by clicking below.
Get Laughs Without Clicking
I quote the story below.
The Very Busy Fire Brigade
I came up with this idea from reading a humorous meme on Facebook way too many times, so I had to write something.
No one knows why people’s pants literally started catching on fire every time they told the slightest fib, but it made for very exciting television and maybe not so exciting consequences for the person involved.
Needless to say, the fire department was very busy. Major businesses had taken to employing small groups of firefighters to follow behind certain people (you know the type) and spray them down with fire extinguishers. Most people learned to live for this except for those in power, which seemed to scoff and turn up their noses at the idea despite evidence to the contrary.
None of this was more prevalent than in Washington where small groups of firefighters were kept busy around the clock every time a politician went anywhere. It didn’t matter the party or affiliation everywhere politicians’ pants were constantly bursting into flame. This also made voting easier because you always knew who was being truthful and who wasn’t.
“Please don’t send the brigade again.” One irritated politician sighed before his latest speech.
“Are you sure sir?” A security detail asked looking worried, “it comes highly recommended.”
“I’m positive!” The politician in question snapped. Afterward, he would straighten his lapels, and comb his close-cropped hair. “Besides, I can handle myself.”
Needless to say, said politician would be very sorry later if he had to be doused by the closest pitcher of water or if the fire department had to be called and he was out a pair of trousers.
This phenomenon was also used to great effect within the judicial system itself. Corrupt judges were weeded out and small groups of firefighters followed around criminals every time they spoke to law enforcement. Trials became efficient because there were usually quicker confessions.
Smart people tried to avoid this in the court itself, because who wanted to get charged with perjury, and well, the results spoke for themselves.
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