Do You Want A Funny Novel @ 80% Off? Try Paranormal Privateers by Andy Zach

Is Paranormal Privateers a Funny Novel? Try this sample:

A motion on the floor caught my eye as I sat on the bed. A cockroach crawled up the drain and onto the floor. Surprising. Usually, Britain kept their prisons pest free. Then another. And then a dozen more. Then hundreds.

This was not normal cockroach behavior. They do not come into the light in swarms. I sat cross-legged on the bed and watched the swarm with fascination. They each climbed the door, walked the steel perimeter, and went back down the drain, even as others went up.

Utterly curious, I nabbed one with my lightning reflexes before it descended. Examining it carefully, I saw a metal dot under its thorax and a narrow tube attached to its abdomen. A pungent, acidic smell came from the tube. I looked back to the door. A narrow trench had been eaten in the door’s perimeter, right where the cockroaches still marched. Near the ceiling light, I saw mist curl away from the door.

Modified and controlled cockroaches—that was like Vik Staskas’ cyborg controlled animals. I read his Ph.D. paper on the technology as well as the Midley Beacon’s de-classified reports on his battles with the zombies. Since Vik was dead, at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico, this could only be one of my siblings or Papa Smith trying to rescue me.

New Novel Paranormal Privateers Excerpts – Part 2

Going back through my perfect memory of the twists and turns where they led me here hooded, counting my steps, and remembering the doors, I was confident I could retrace my steps.

The last of the cockroaches marched around the door, leaving its trail of acid. The steel was etched deep, perhaps a centimeter or more. Couldn’t be much left.

I knocked on the door. Yes, it felt like a centimeter thick, and it echoed like it was almost cut through. Then someone knocked back, much harder.

“I’m here!” I called. I assumed this was my rescuer.

“Step back,” grated a curious, tinny voice, like it was coming through a small radio.

I stepped away.

CLUMP! CLUMP! Two metallic thunks hit the other side of the door. Then, SKREERK! The door tore off like the lid of a tin of meat.

I didn’t expect what I saw. A male, silverback gorilla filled the doorway and the whole hallway beyond. Thick armor covered his body. Casually, he placed the door scrap against the hall.

“Follow me,” he said.

Want more? I have another excerpt here.

Or you can go big pig and go here to Amazon or here to CreateSpace for more free reading.

But why settle for excerpts when you can get the WHOLE BOOK for .99?

Funny Novel for .99 – Here’s How

First, click here:

Next, click “Buy” within 34 hours of 4 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Central Time, USA. You see, the sale is up for only 40 hours and 6 have already passed. Then the price goes up.

Finally, read and enjoy!

Other fun from around the Internet

I keep finding fun items. Here are a few more.

A Silent Movie Pianist Gives a Demo

Then there’s this bit of internet animated Flash history. Please reply to me or comment if you’ve never seen this before!

How can I top that video? By one of the greatest videos by one of the greatest parody artists of all time! See if you can keep from laughing at this next video.

Finally, I must say goodbye for now!

Andy Zach’s Tombstone