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My Sixth-Year Anniversary as a Self-Published Author

My Sixth-Year Anniversary as a Self-Published Author–how did I do it? How is it going so far? Hold onto your socks, because I’ll tell you all about it.

On October 31st, 2016, I published this book:

Sam Melvin, an underachieving e-reporter from a small town, changes forever when he meets turkeys that won’t stay dead. You can shoot ’em, chop ’em, burn ’em—they come back stronger. The undead plague of poultry spreads uncontrollably, rocking the whole country. . .

From Zombie Turkeys’ Blurb

So, what happened next? What happened before the publication?

In the beginning . . .

Caterpillar forcibly retired me in October 2015. I didn’t want to rust on the pile of retirement, so I decided I would start writing a book. But I needed a topic. I wanted something light and funny.

We got a new turkey fryer and I tested it out. I brought in the fried turkey on a platter and said, “Imagine if this turkey came back to life!” Then someone said, “It’d be a zombie turkey.”

“Eureka! That’s it! That’s my book! Zombie turkeys! A whole apocalypse of them. It’ll be a parody of all zombie books ever written.”

My Sixth-Year Anniversary – What Happened Next?

I wrote about 48,000 words in November in the book for NaNoWriMo. Then I finished it in December. Then I edited it: six times over until March. I decided I needed an editor–and got her, Dori Harrell.

Then I decided to learn about publishing. I read about six books. I also took a writing course at my alma mater, Bradley university. Who knew point-of-view was so important?

I created a project plan for self-publishing. Then I decided to publish through Amazon, since it was easier and cheaper.

I went back and forth with my editor about six times. The novel was ready to publish, with 54,000 words.

Oops! I forgot to get a cover illustration! I needed one done and it was July 2016.

The Making of the Zombie Turkeys Cover

Fortunately, I already wrote a blog post about this process. Click the title or here to read it.

Oh, I forgot. I also worked with my illustrator Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan on my chapter icons. Read about it here: How we Made Zombie Turkeys Chapter Icons.

My Sixth-Year Anniversary – Format Editing

Text formatting–so simple–NOT! Readers expect books to be formatted a certain way. If you break the rules–like not starting your book on the right-hand page–you look like a rank amateur.

Which I was. But I didn’t want to look that way. I only got one chance to make a first impression. So I hired Rik Hall. He’s fast. He’s experienced. And he made my book in both paperback and ebook formats.

Finally I was ready. I uploaded my file to Amazon and ordered my proof copy. I set my launch date for October 31st, 2016 and ordered fifty paper copies.

I was ready to launch. What happened next? Read my next blog to find out!

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Best of September’s Internet for You

September's Internet

Best of September’s Internet for You, curated by me, author Andy Zach. Find out what amazing news, discoveries, insights, and fun you’ve missed this month.

I’ve spent the month writing my ninth book and cruising the internet researching the Everglades, the coast of Florida, and the Dragon space capsule procedures. What’s new with you? Let me know, and I’ll send you a free book. Click here.

Or don’t. You can also get my books* for free here, by subscribing to my newsletter.

*My books: Zombie Turkeys, Zombie Detective, My Undead Mother-in-law, Paranormal Privateers, Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse, Secret Supers, and Villain’s Vacation. Click on each title to find out more and to get your copy in ebook, paperback, or audiobook.

Let’s begin the discovery of September’s Internet!

Yup, this shark would look fine on a cover of a 50s SciFi magazine.

September's Internet
Imagine a lurking shark here.

Speaking of science fiction covers, this picture from the James Webb Space Telescope (JWST) would be great as a cover:

For comparison, here’s a picture from the Voyager spacecraft as it flew by in 1989:

September's Internet

How About Some Videos from September’s Internet?

Would you like a flying bicycle/motorcycle?

In many predictions from the 50s, we were supposed to have flying cars by now. How about flying motorcycles? Is this for you?

Let’s take a break from SciFi and go to fantasy.

Legolas’ life and travels

Did you learn anything about Legolas from this video? Let me know.

September’s Internet – Some Humor

Back to Science Fiction–from 200 BC

The Antikythera mechanism is an example of Greek technical prowess as early as 300-200 BC. A good alternate history scifi would be for them to begin an industrial revolution at that time.

And speaking of the industrial revolution, the Brooklyn Bridge was built at that time in the US, chiefly managed by Roebling’s wife, after his death. The technology of the 19th century inspires steampunk SciFi.

September’s Writing Prompt

I belong to a writers’ group. Here was the writing prompt we got:

September's Internet
September’s Writing Prompt

He sat and waited. He’d been doing that for some time. Three million four hundred, fifty one thousand, and sixty one years, one hundred ninety one days, five hours, and thirty five minutes, according to his internal clock, accurate to five microseconds per millennium.

As usual, he absorbed all information he could from his surroundings. Crickets chirred. He recognized each within microphone range by their variations in timbre and frequency. Then there were the electromagnetic impulses flooding his various antennae. He’d identified thirteen distinct civilizations on this planet. Most of them were quite recent.

But no activation signal.

Wait! There it was. Now he could act.

This is what Andy Zach wrote in five minutes.
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Classic Book Reviews for You

Classic Book Reviews

Classic Book Reviews for You – Read what I think of famous books you may have read. Do you agree with me? Whether you do or not, let me know here (click) or by emailing me at [email protected] and I’ll send you a free book.

Classic Book Reviews – You begin with ‘The Fellowship of the Ring’

Classic Book Reviews
Review of Fellowship

September 13, 2022

The greatest novel of the 20th century, a true 5 star book, one that’ll be read in another hundred years.

My latest re-read was in the single volume edition with Christopher Lee’s artwork. His art is detailed and complex, with hidden elements that tell the story.

In this re-read, I saw the close connection between the start of the book, which is often called dull, and the end of the Hobbit. One dovetails into the other. The hobbit background is necessary for those who didn’t read the Hobbit, and provides additional detail on them, including their three races: the Stoors, the Harfoots, and the Fallowhides.

I also noticed in my re-read the masterful way Tolkien built tension and prolongs conflict and threats. He also increases the risks and dangers throughout the book. These details jump out at me more since I became an author.

Andy Zach

What Classic Book Review Is Next?

Classic Book Reviews
The Little Prince Review

January 22, 2022

This was the first time I’ve re-read ‘The Little Prince’ since the first time, about 31 years ago.

It was nothing like I remembered. I remembered it as a great children’s book, but I never read it to my children, that I recall. Rather, it was a book I skimmed through, thinking I understood it.

I didn’t.

I thought it was about the difference between adults and children. It was, but much more. Somehow I missed all the discussions about friendship. There were many friendships in the book. There was the one between the little prince and the author. There was one between the little prince and a fox. And the most important one was between the little prince and his flower.

It taught an important truth about friendships. They are valuable because of the time you spend together. And it told another important truth. The important things of consequence are not what you can see.

But you may think this is a boring, moralizing book. It isn’t. That’s why the book is still read 80 years after it was written. It’s an adventure of the author, an aviator and artist, and the little prince.

Andy Zach

Now for a classic Dystopia

Classic Book Reviews
Review of 1984

I couldn’t find my review of 1984, but I found a review I agree with.

I read Nineteen Eighty-Four when I was eleven years old. School had just let out for the summer, and my family spent that first Saturday down on Lake Moovalya on the Colorado River. It was my first time out in the sun, and I seriously overdid it, spending all day in the river and getting severely sunburned. The next day I could barely move. My mom told me I was “sun poisoned.” The weather turned ugly, too–we were hit with a howling dust storm, so strong and thick I couldn’t see across the street. I wasn’t going anywhere, so I looked for something to read. Our next-door neighbors’ son had gone off to college and his parents, knowing I was a bookworm, gave me a box of paperbacks, mostly science fiction. And in that collection was a copy of Nineteen Eighty-Four. I don’t know why I picked that particular volume–I could have selected Isaac Asimov’s I, Robot or Andre Norton’s The Sioux Spaceman–but Orwell was what I went with.

Wow. When I finished the book a few hours later, I had never been so bummed in my life. I think maybe being so sick and miserable must have had something to do with it, but the experience of reading about Winston Smith’s futile, hopeless fight against Big Brother was so overwhelming, for years afterwards–until I read Robert Cormier’s I Am the CheeseNineteen Eighty-Four was my nominee for most depressing book ever written.

But even though I was thoroughly depressed after reading Nineteen Eighty-Four, I still rate it five stars. The total despair the book engendered in me is a testament to Orwell’s skill as a writer. As with all of Orwell’s work, fiction and non-fiction alike, Nineteen Eighty-Four is well-written–Orwell certainly knew his craft. It also captures perfectly life in the Stalinist Soviet Union. The utter bleakness of life, the omnipotent repression by the government, the controlling of the very language to restrict the ability of the populace to think, and the futility of rebellion, all were features of life in the USSR, and all are portrayed truly and vividly in Nineteen Eighty-Four.

Hank Hoeft

Now here are my comments. I remember them as my review, if you want my perspective.


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Classic Book Reviews

Andy Zach

3 years ago

It’s so depressing (I read it at about 17) that I rate it 2 stars, despite being still read seventy years after it was published. Normally I would give it 5 stars for that feat.

Andy Zach

3 years ago

The real horror of the book is that Orwell was describing conditions in Soviet Russia at the time and that nothing has changed in human behavior since then. The same conditions exist in North Korea.

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Classic Book Reviews

Hank Hoeft

3 years ago

I understand where you’re coming from. And in reading your comment, I realize I need to amend, or add to, my review–I should have included why I rated it five stars.

Andy Zach

3 years ago

Hank, I can make a strong argument to rate it five stars. 1) It’s a historically accurate portrayal of Soviet Russia and current North Korea and Cuba; 2) It provides an ominous warning against socialism and communism; 3) It’s still relevant 70 years after it was published; 4) It is extremely well written with gripping characters.

But ultimately my rating is subjective. I read it twice and hated both experiences.

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