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Meet My Undead Mother-in-law This Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother's Day

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law! Did you know, Diane Newby, the undead mother-in-law, has two children?

Happy Mother's Day
Diane Newby, in her natural environment.

My mother-in-law, Diane Newby, zombified by accident. She still volunteers at her church bake sales and cooks pot roast for her daughter and son-in-law, Ron Yardley. What ticks her off is when people don’t treat her like a normal human being—with glowing red eyes and super strength and speed. And if she doesn’t get her own way, look out. She explodes and leaves broken plaster and body parts in her wake. Nothing stops her: not brick walls, the federal government, or middle-aged spread.

But the world’s most powerful criminal plans to control zombies. His only problem with zombies is that they have way too much free will. He has a solution for that. But will it work with Diane Newby?

The world divides into pro-zombie and anti-zombie factions. Battles break out everywhere. Which side will you take? Who will live and who will die?

You might not survive this book. But at least you’ll die laughing.

Click to get it! On sale for .99 from May 14 to 21.

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law’s Children

Ron Yardley
Ron Yardley, internet marketeer

The above description of Diane was written by her son-in-law, Ron Yardley.

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law Karen Yardley
Karen Yardley

Ron is married to Karen the daughter of Diane Newbey who didn’t turn zombie when the rest of her family did.

Diane has a brother, Don. He shows up in Zombie Turkeys.

Don Newby, Diane Newby’s son.

Donald Newby had been a computer programmer for three years, ever since he got out of college. He’d been paying off his student loans by living in his parents’ basement. That gave him plenty of time for online gaming: DOTA (Defense of the Ancients) was his favorite. Occasionally, he wanted to go out with girls, but he couldn’t figure out how to find one, let alone how to start a conversation with one. He’d read about people meeting in nightclubs and bars, but that didn’t make sense; he didn’t dance or drink.

He vaguely realized he wasn’t a girl’s ideal man: below average height and overweight. He figured he’d just find some girl who wasn’t ideal. Any girl would do, when you had none.

(Excerpt from Don’s introduction in Zombie Turkeys Epilogue.)

Outlandish Fun! Meet My Undead Mother-in-law

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook Chapter 1 Icon Happy Mother's Day
Chapter 1 Icon

Overall    4 out of 5 stars

Performance    4 out of 5 stars

Story    4 out of 5 stars

Andy Zach continues his unrelenting attack on the horror/zombie genre with outlandish humor. What will society do with the new human zombies after the havoc caused by The Turkey Zombies?!? That was a rhetorical question…so just laugh! 😉

JH & DDDH

Most adorable mother-in-law ever

My Undead Mother-in-law icon chapter 8
My Undead Mother-in-law icon chapter 8
  • Overall    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story    4 out of 5 stars

Note: While this is Book 2 in the series, it works pretty well as a stand alone story.

Set several months after the zombie turkey outbreak of Book 1, the contagion continues to pop up in other species. Now that several zombie humans have been created, the government can no longer hide it. In fact, most zombie humans continue to work, play, cook, attend church, and have family get-togethers.

Diane is such a fun mother-in-law! She’s a bit overbearing but ferociously protective of her family. I love her dedication to zombie acceptance and beating down zombie stereotypes. Also, she’s a great brawler. I would not want to be on any team opposing Diane!

The zombie critters were great too! I love that the contaminated corn (the suspected source of the zombie outbreaks) is still the main suspected source of these new zombie species – like snakes and chipmunks. That scene with the rat and the snake hijacking the plane – haha! This story had me chuckling often.

DabOfDarkness

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook Review, Part 2

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook Best August Videos
Zombie corgi in Scotland from ‘My Undead Mother-in-law’

The Narration: Phil Blechman and Raven Perez continue to do a great job with this series. I love Blechman’s zombie turkey calls – makes me laugh every time no matter how gruesome the scene. Perez was spectacular as Diane – loud, proud, boisterous, hilarious. The technical recording quality is also top notch. Blechman and Perez sound like they are in the same room for the recording. It’s seamless when they trade off or even back and forth in the same conversation. Excellent all around! 5/5 stars.

DabOfDarkness

Great Book! Fun Twist to Zombie Story!

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook
Chapter 2 icon
  • Overall    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story    5 out of 5 stars

Not your usual zombie story. This one is fun and funny. I laughed several times throughout the story. I’m looking forward to the next installment of the series.

Jared Christensen

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law – “Gotta love these books”

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook
My Undead Mother-in-law chapter 3 icon
  • Overall    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story    5 out of 5 stars

Andy Zach has done it again for me, I love the Audiobooks. The Performances by Raven Perez, and Phil Blechman, are outrageously Great. Not too many turkey gobbling sounds in this story, but I can live with that. Read the first book and you’ll understand. All in all, I’d double the number of stars for the first book, and this one if I could.

Walt

My Undead Mother-in-law Audiobook – “Funny”

Chapter 4 icon
  • Overall    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story    5 out of 5 stars

Very entertaining. Didn’t know what to expect other than I thought it would be amusing. It was! I played some for my husband and laughed tears at one point just as I had.

Lisa M.

Perhaps Andy could have titled this Supers’ Origins

  • Overall    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story    5 out of 5 stars
Chapter 5 icon

Is a super story about a super mother in law. father in law, brother and sister in law and a bunch of “Sidekicks” real impressive side kicks. Good triumph over evil through pain and persistence and a real bad villan is finally defeated; or is he? The Narration is outrageously hilarious and so “Camp” that I smile when I think about this listen.

I am becoming a lover of Zombisim, in fact long live Zombies, no perhaps live isn’t quite the right word. Any way If a great listen is what you need these days first listen to Andy’s first book Zombie Turkeys “gooble gooble” and than for a continuous great listen meet the mother in law

Virgil Perryman

Click Below to Get Your Copy!

More Laughs for You
Back cover of My Undead Mother-in-law – click for preview

Any newsletter subscriber gets free audiobook codes–as long as they last. Click here to get yours. Don’t wait!

Do you want an autographed book? I’ll mail it directly to you with free shipping and I pay the taxes! Click here to get yours.

Got questions? Comments? Reach me directly by clicking here.

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Oops! My SciFi Short Story Book Is On Sale!

Oops! My SciFi latest science news What's New Science
Oops cover

Oops! My SciFi Short Story Book Is On Sale! But just for two more days, so quickly click here to get Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse! By ‘two more days’ I mean today, Friday March 24th and Saturday March 25th. The sale ends at 2 am Sunday March 26th.

I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got a free short story for you from the book.

But first, let me tell you about my short stories before you try one.

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul

Oops! back cover

Oops! Short Stories – Table of Contents

I haven’t done this before, but here’s the Table of Contents from the book. I’ve added the chapter icons too. They’re created by my illustrator Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan.

Introduction. 3

The Story of Sound. 5

A Phoenix Tale. 7

Oops! My SciFi
A Phoenix Tale

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Wheels in Time. 45

In a Pickle. 90

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The Butterfly Effect 99

Zombie Shift 106

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Assisted Living. 125

Oops! My SciFi

A Dying Business. 137

Oops! My SciFi

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Red-Eye Fashion. 152

Oops! My SciFi

Her Majesty’s Corgis. 164

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The Secret Supers—Revealed. 176

A Hamster’s Tale. 195

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Caribbean Cruise. 214

We’ve Got It! 228

Oops! My SciFi Short Story is: In A Pickle

Now you’re ready for your free short story that follows below.

What’s it about? What if you’re a genetic engineer and you decide to use zombie turkey DNA to make pickles grow? That’s the set up. Enjoy! Click here to read it.

It opens like this:

In a Pickle

by Andy Zach

Now, what was he going to do? Brice Butterworth’s boss just told him to double the productivity of Vegan Inc.’s pickle strain they used for their Kilwowski Pickle brand. That was completely impossible.

But keeping his job required it. He was the low man on the genetic engineering totem pole at Vegan Inc., the last one hired and the first one to be fired if another recession hit.

He couldn’t think. And he couldn’t face this. So he cruised the internet. “The origin of zombie turkeys? I didn’t know they’d found that. Hmm, a Midley Beacon exclusive, the foremost zombie news source,” he read out loud.

Click to read more!

Tell Me What you Think!

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

You can get an autographed copy of Oops! directly from me by clicking here. Free shipping and I pay the sales tax.

Or you can get it on Amazon for .99 or 12.95. ($2.99 if you don’t get it right away.)

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here. You also get all my audiobooks for free!

Psst! Audible lets you listen free to my books. Click here to find out how.

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Meet My Aliens from My SciFi Book

Meet My Aliens Juicy Details Chapter 14 icon

Meet my aliens from my SciFi book Paranormal Privateers. I’m author Andy Zach and I’ve got some aliens for you from this book.

Meet My Aliens SciFi Fuel Paranormal Privateers
The cover of my third novel Paranormal Privateers. Click to get yours for .99 from March 5-12.

The situation: The aliens have just landed in a flying saucer on the White House lawn.

Now you’re ready for your free excerpt that follows below.

Let me know what you think by clicking here or emailing me at [email protected]. As always, everyone who responds with a comment or email will get a free book from me.

If you want to keep track of all my blog posts and get free books you can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Meet My Aliens: Paranormal Privateers

Chapter 9 – Washington DC

Flying saucer over Washington DC Meet My Aliens
Flying saucer over Washington DC Chapter 9 icon from Paranormal Privateers

Sam and Lisa craned their necks with thousands of others as the saucer descended to the cleared area on the lawn. A hundred feet across, of smooth, unbroken silvery metal, it looked more like a lens than a saucer, with a smooth convex curved top and bottom. It floated silently as a balloon and landed like a snowflake.

“Look! It’s opening!” Sam said.

The edge of the saucer split, revealing a ramp to the interior. The alien ambassador Micah Rigby came out, holding both hands up in a gesture of peace. Tied to each of his wrists were silver strings, which pulled along two large red balloons. Hanging from the balloons were gaily wrapped packages.

“Greetings, Earthlings and my fellow Americans!” Micah Rigby spoke from the bottom of the ramp. Although he didn’t have a microphone, Sam and Lisa clearly heard him from a hundred feet away.

“The Old Ones send along two gifts for the President. We learned from Klaatu, who got shot for bearing a gift. I suggested the balloons and wrapping to show the gifts are not dangerous.”

“May I approach the president?”

“C’mon up, Ambassador Rigby!” boomed the President through the speakers.

Ambassador Rigby walked across the lawn and up the steps to the platform, balloons and presents bobbing merrily behind him.

“Here’s the Old Ones’ first gift for you.” He unwrapped the pink-and-yellow-striped package. It looked like a small silver phone. Micah handed it to the president and gave the balloon to the Secret Service agent next to the president. “You can give the balloon to your daughter, Agent Smith.”

Startled, the agent took the balloon.

Meet My Aliens from Paranormal Privateers

Meet My Aliens

“Mr. President, this is a voice-activated cell phone. Simply speak the person’s name and you can see them and talk with them.”

“That’s like our cell phones.”

“The Old Ones copied the normal cell phone voice interface. However, the person you call does not have to have a phone at all! If you wish, your image can be projected to them.”

“Amazing!”

“Also, this phone is not limited by distance, nor can the signals be blocked. Finally, if you say ‘Old Ones,’ you can talk directly to them.”

“OK. Old Ones.”

Five translucent figures appeared near the president, all white-haired and bearded. One white, one black, one Asian, one Native American, and one brown race that might have been Middle Eastern.

“Greetings, Mr. President! How can we help you?”

“I wanted to see if you’d answer and what you looked like.”

“To be honest,” said the black one, “this is not how we look. These are merely our projected images. We use your races to show we are different to some extent like your races are different. White hair and beards symbolize our age.”

“What do you actually look like?” the President asked.

“We thought you might be curious,” said the Asian figure.

“That’s why we gave you the second gift,” said the Middle Eastern one.

“Here it is, Mr. President,” Micah said, handing him the larger orange-and-purple package.

The president unwrapped it and opened a sealed box. A cute furry caterpillar, with a head and face like a fox and long, furry pointed ears, quickly crawled out and up the president’s arm to his shoulder. It moved with a rippling motion. Squirrel-sized, it sat on his shoulder, licked his face, and purred contentedly.

Your Excerpt Concludes

“That tickles! You’re a cute little fellow, aren’t you? What are they called?”

“There are no equivalent species on earth, but we thought you might like them. They’re part of our ship’s ecology,” said the bearded white Old One. “You may call them anything you’d like, but we think they’re most like the Tribbles from Star Trek.”

“I can see that,” the president said.

“Minus the uncontrolled reproduction in the Star Trek episode!” The black Old One laughed. “These Tribble-like creatures must go back to the saucer each day for food. There are certain proteins they need they cannot get from your biosphere. We withhold the amino acids they need for reproduction.”

“They can eat harmful insects, flies, and mosquitoes, bed bugs, and cockroaches, but they cannot thrive or reproduce here,” added the brown Old One.

“So do you look like caterpillars, foxes, or Tribbles?” President Trump asked.

“It’s more of a metaphor than a literal appearance,” said the Caucasian.

“We want you to think of us as cute, warm, and fuzzy,” said the Asian.

“Will we ever get to see what you really look like?”

“It’s not necessary,” the five images answered in unison. “It has been pleasant talking with you, Mr. President. Our ambassador will discuss the trade arrangement we desire.”

The images disappeared.

My Aliens – What do you think?

What do you think of my aliens? Let me know right here. Don’t forget I’ll give you a free book after I get your email.

If you like Paranormal Privateers, you can subscribe to my newsletter here to see all my blog posts and get free books every month. Or you can just stay at my blog, checking back every day until I post another blog.

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