Category: Free Gift

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law from my novel My Undead Mother-in-law. She’s Diane Newby. I’ll let her son-in-law Ron Yardly introduce her. Read the excerpt below. My book is .99 from August 20th until August 27th. Get your copy by clicking here.

As we pulled up in Karen’s parents’ drive, I was reassured by the sheer normality of their three-bedroom suburban home: green yard partially covered with snow, evergreen bushes, two-car garage. There was no sign zombies lived there. Of course, what sign could I expect? A skull and crossbones and Beware of Zombies? Perhaps a biohazard sign?

Diane greeted us at the door. “Hello, my love!” She hugged Karen.

Karen barely flinched as she looked into her mother’s bright-red eyes. But she grunted “Ugh!” at the force of her embrace.

“Ease up, Mom.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Hello, Mom,” I said as I hugged her as hard I as could.

She hugged me back twice as hard.

“Ugh,” I grunted too.

Diane still had blond-highlighted brown hair, as she did when I first met her. She’d gained a pound or two though. She smelled of the body talc White Linen. I recognized it because Karen and I bought it for her birthday last year, pre-zombie. And she still wore her cat-eye reading glasses on a chain around her neck.

My Undead Mother-in-law.

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law, Part 2

Diane seated us on the living room sofa. “Supper’s on. I have a nice pot roast for us tonight. Donnie and Maggie should be here soon. George!” she called. “The kids are here!”

A heavy tread down the stairs announced George Newby. His eyes shone red too, but while Diane was built like a middle-aged woman, George was a classic wide-body. His shoulders filled the stairway. You’d think he was a truck driver or a lineman rather than an accountant.

“Hi, Karen. Hi, Ron,” he rumbled. He hugged his daughter, as if he held a baby bird, and shook my hand without hurting me in his bratwurst fingers. His bright-red eyes looked squarely into mine.

“I’m so glad you made the trip. You can help us put to rest the ugly rumors that people with zombiism aren’t human. It’s just a disease. It’s not even harmful,” Diane enthused as she sat across from us. George sat next to her in a brown leather recliner.

“Mom, we love you. You don’t have to convince us,” I said.

“Of course not. I know that. It’s just that we’ve had people talking behind our backs at church and the public health officials trying to pressure us to get the treatment to eliminate the disease.”

“Don’t you want to get rid of it? I think the antibiotics for it are safe and effective.”

“You’d think so, but we actually have never felt better in our lives! I have more energy than ever, and so does George—right, George?”

“Yup.”

“My arthritic aches and pains have completely disappeared, and George’s old football knee injury is all better too.”

My Undead Mother-in-law.

Meet My Undead Mother-in-law and the Villain, Vik Staskas

Vik Staskas absently stroked his long glossy-black hair as he skimmed through the day’s news on his wall-mounted monitor from his five-hundred-foot superyacht. He noted the surge in zombie cures and sought to tap into the money. He hired operatives to infiltrate the Midley Beacon and SPEwZ Inc., the business arm of the famous charitable zombie organization. The possibility of failure didn’t occur to him. He succeeded in everything he tried: a street thief as an orphan in Belgrade; a college student in Paris, where he got his PhD in robotics; and taking over European organized crime without the nominal bosses knowing he existed. He was ready to take over the US.

He developed remote-controlled cyborg animals and insects. He used them to spy, to infiltrate, to conquer, to steal, to kill. They were unstoppable. He planned his first hijacking of a zombie blood air shipment from Gary, Indiana. He could think of several practical uses for cyborg-controlled zombies in his crime empire. As they were, zombies had too much free will for his taste. He chuckled. Even zombies didn’t stand a chance against him.

My Undead Mother-in-law.

Readers Speak About Meeting My Undead Mother-in-law

Not your standard zombie tale

4.0 out of 5 stars 

When I started to read this book, I was leery. As far as I know, I’m less interested in zombies than anyone on the planet. How could I give a reasonable review? Turns out, it wasn’t hard at all. I’ve said before and it turned out to be true here that, if you have a ridiculous premise that’s hard to swallow, run with it, normalize it, and readers /viewers will eventually accept. And it worked.

The original premise of cognizant, virtually indestructible zombies was lobbed and backed until I was a believer, actively rooting for zombies. Plenty of (bloodier than average) action, some smiling, if not guffaw humor, a nice fulfilling story arc in an easy readable length made for a fun book (if bloody action doesn’t bother you) with charm that didn’t take itself to seriously but still capable of many a tender and touching moments.

I’m glad my prejudice didn’t keep me from enjoying this out-of-the-common-way story.

Stephanie Barr

Let’s start with wow!

5.0 out of 5 stars 

I am a huge zombie fan, I had thought the genre had worked itself out for a while and then I read this book. I think I have been scarred for life! I foresee months if not years of counseling in my future.

Not everyone is going to like every book, you know what that’s all right. Maybe they don’t understand the book. If you want to envision hordes of undead animals attacking the evil… sorry I don’t do spoilers. Think of a slightly sardonic look on life and you will be getting close.

While reading this book I was reminded of a visionary work of Cinema, “Polterygiest: Night of the Chicken Dead” a great movie by Troma Entertainment. Do yourself a favor check out this book.

an avid reader

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