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New Books Just in Time for Christmas

I’ve got a list for you and I’m checking it twice: New Books Just in Time for Christmas. Some are ebooks, some print, some will cost you, some are free. Your choice.

Let’s start with the BIG ONE: my latest release: Oops! Tales of the Zombie Turkey Apocalypse. The paperback came out November 27th. You can get the ebook NOW for preorder.

This is my first collection of short stories. It includes some of your favorites: A Phoenix Tale, In A Pickle, and A Hamster’s Tale. In it, you’ll find many others that’ll tickle your fancy.

Do you want to know more?

Accidents happen. Especially around zombie turkeys. Then you add zombie humans, and problems proliferate. Mix in some ill-planned genetic engineering, and things get crazy.

The insanity continues, from the story where zombies are merged with cucumbers to the one where two basement-dwelling nerds gain access to all video content from the past two hundred years—from aliens.

Andy Zach pulls out all the stops on his imagination as he serves up this smorgasbord of silliness. Try it. Laughter is good for your soul.

From the back cover of Oops!
New Books
The full cover spread of Oops!

New Books – Free For You Follow This

But wait! You’ve got more coming to you! This Middle-Grade e-Book offer includes my own, Secret Supers.

New Books
Click to get your free copy!

In case you can’t read this blurb, here it is:

Jeremy Gentle fell flat on his face at therapy. That was normal since he had cerebral palsy. But his new superpower wasn’t normal. Then things got weirder when his best friend, Dan Elanga, got a different superpower. But Dan was still blind.

Kayla Verdera and Aubrey Wilcosky, two girls in their middle-school special ed class, discovered they too had new superpowers. Kayla was mute and needed a walker. Aubrey lost two legs and used crutches. But they were as powerful as the boys.

What should the four friends do? Jeremy knew if the word got out, it’d be a media circus. Then they started fighting crime, as the Secret Supers. Who knew a disability could be a perfect disguise? No one would ever think of disabled kids as superheroes. Then they ran into problems they never expected.

From Secret Supers back cover

Is that all? Nope! Read on for more free stuff.

If you’re a newsletter subscriber, I give away two books every month. I’ll give you a free book in exchange for a review. Just contact me here.

And I’ll give anyone that asks a free audiobook until all my codes are gone. Check them out below.

Free Books
Your first Free audiobook sample
Your next Free audiobook sample
Paranormal Privateers audiobook
The last Free audiobook sample

Goodbye for now from Chambanacon in Bloomington Illinois!

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5 Weird Things I’ve Never Shared With You

5 Weird Things I’ve Never Shared With You in the whole three years I’ve been writing this blog. How can I be sure? I’ve just learned about them in the past month.

But first, let’s have this:

I wasn’t planning to count this as one weird thing since it’s satire, but I wanted to start with something funny.

Okay, this next item begins the weirdness:

This triggered so many things in my mind: first, the cloaking field from Star Trek.

The Enterprise decloaking

Next, Harry Potter’s cloak of invisibility:

https://giphy.com/gifs/harry-potter-magic-J5lxA8X7kisRG
Harry Potter getting his invisibility on

But the oldest example is below:

The Invisible Man – “I’ll show you!”

On we go to the next weird thing.

Your Second Weird Thing of 5 Weird Things

How can I not have the phrase ‘intelligent slime mold’ in my blog post? You may ask, ‘How can a slime mold be intelligent?” They can efficiently solve the famous ‘Travelling Salesman’ problem. You haven’t heard of that? Check out the following article:

5 Weird Things
The Travelling Salesman Problem – click the image for more

Earlier in my life, I worked in operations research and this problem was difficult to solve by computer. How difficult? It belongs to a class of problems called ‘NP hard problems’. That means the difficulty goes up as a factorial (1*2*3 = 3 factorial) of the number of cities.

You can solve this by brute computing force, but the slime mold does it without brains! That’s weird.

Your Third Weird Thing

But first, a book break!

I am an author, so I love books. Tell me your favorite and I’ll send you a free short story.

On to our next weird thing! How about a robot that does gymnastics? It also weighs about four hundred pounds.

If this robot isn’t grist for a science fiction story, then I’ve never read SciFi before!

The Penultimate Weird Thing

I love vocabulary for its own sake, ever since I read the ‘Abecedarian Book’ when I was twelve. Penultimate is one of those weird words you read, but may not know the meaning. Look it up.

I read this book when I was 12.

Your new weird thing begins here.

Do you believe this?

You know it’s weird when you can’t believe it (I didn’t) and yet it’s true.

The Last Weird Thing of 5 Weird Things – And Free Stuff

Who doesn’t like dragons?

Finally, I bid you adieu!

5 Weird Things
Andy Zach at Archon in St. Louis

PS: I forgot to tell you where you can get free stuff.

First, you can get 31 free books here:

5 Weird Things
Click image to get 31 free books

Then, you can get my comic paranormal animal book, Zombie Turkeys here:

5 Weird Things
Click to get your free copy
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Events, News, and Gifts for You from Friendly Author

“Events, News? Who cares! Where are the gifts?” you ask. I’m happy to answer. My first gift is a free ebook for anyone who has reviewed the book, or wants to review it. Just send me your review link to your Amazon review or Goodreads review of any of my books.

Events News
Andy Zach’s books

Or use the same link to contact me and get a free ebook in exchange for a future review.

Or, if you like audiobooks, I’ll give you a free one to review. Check them out below. You can listen to a sample for free. Or, if you belong to Audible, you can listen for free.

Events, News
Zombie Turkeys free audiobook sample
Events, News
My Undead Mother-in-law free audio sample
Events, News
Paranormal Privateers audiobook sample

That’s three ways you can get free books. If you don’t want to write reviews, you can enter my two monthly drawings right here. I have another one coming up in October, so don’t miss it.

My newsletter also supplies free short stories to subscribers. So you get a twofer.

Events, News for those who want to meet Andy Zach

On September 21st, first day of autumn, I’ll be at the I Know You Like A Book bookstore in Peoria Heights signing my books for you.

Then there’s Area 51 meeting in Nevada. I won’t be there. Will you? If you go there, give me a report and I’ll give you a book of your choice, the format of your choice: paperback, ebook, or audiobook.

Did you know I have aliens in my third novel of my Life After Life Chronicles, Paranormal Privateers? Here’s a chapter icon for you:

Now here you have another chapter icon from Paranormal Privateers showing one alien species, the foxcat.

Yet More Events

I’ll be at QuadCon in Peoria in October!

Come to Peoria, meet me, and mention this blog and I’ll give you a free book and autograph!