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Writing Tips From John Grisham and Dashiell Hammett

Zombie Detective Science Versus Science Fiction

Writing Tips From John Grisham and Dashiell Hammett. I wish I could say they personally advised me, but no. I read these tips AFTER I had finished my seventh book.

I’ll give them to you anyway, along with free books. Look out below! Keep scrolling down.

8 Writing Tips from John Grisham

For all you people who never click, here are your 8 points:


1.   Do — Write A Page Every Day

That’s about 200 words, or 1,000 words a week. Do that for two years and you’ll have a novel that’s long enough. Nothing will happen until you are producing at least one page per day.

2.   Don’t — Write The First Scene Until You Know The Last

This necessitates the use of a dreaded device commonly called an outline. Virtually all writers hate that word. I have yet to meet one
who admits to using an outline.

Plotting takes careful planning. Writers waste years pursuing stories that eventually don’t work.

3.   Do — Write Your One Page Each Day At The Same Place And Time

Early morning, lunch break, on the train, late at night — it doesn’t matter. Find the extra hour, go to the same place, shut the door. No exceptions, no excuses.

4.   Don’t — Write A Prologue

Prologues are usually gimmicks to hook the reader. Avoid them. Plan your story (see No. 2) and start with Chapter 1.

5.   Do — Use Quotation Marks With Dialogue

Please do this. It’s rather basic.

6.   Don’t — Keep A Thesaurus Within Reaching Distance

I know, I know, there’s one at your fingertips.

There are three types of words: (1) words we know; (2) words we should know; (3) words nobody knows. Forget those in the third category and use restraint with those in the second.

A common mistake by fledgling authors is using jaw-breaking vocabulary. It’s frustrating and phoney.

7.   Do — Read Each Sentence At Least Three Times In Search Of Words To Cut

Most writers use too many words, and why not? We have unlimited space and few constraints.

8.   Don’t — Introduce 20 Characters In The First Chapter

Another rookie mistake. Your readers are eager to get started. Don’t bombard them with a barrage of names from four generations of the same family. Five names are enough to get started.

Take Time Out for Your Free Book Give Away

I give away two books every month to my newsletter subscribers. Also, you will get six free audiobooks, while supplies last. Finally, I also give free samples of my short stories from Oops!, my short story collection.

Writing Tips Oops! Cover
Oops! Cover. Click to listen

To get your six free audiobooks, plus a free copy of Zombie Turkeys Kindle edition, click here.

Writing Tips From Dashielle Hammett – Your First 12

The 24 rules follow:

  1. There was an automatic revolver, the Webley-Fosbery, made in England some years ago. The ordinary automatic pistol, however, is not a revolver. A pistol, to be a revolver, must have something on it that revolves.
  2. The Colt’s .45 automatic pistol has no chambers. The cartridges are put in a magazine.
  3. A silencer may be attached to a revolver, but the effect will be altogether negligible. I have never seen a silencer used on an automatic pistol, but am told it would still make quite a bit of noise. “Silencer” is a rather optimistic name for this device which has generally fallen into disuse.
  4. When a bullet from a Colt’s .45, or any firearm of approximately the same size and power, hits you, even if not in a fatal spot, it usually knocks you over. It is quite upsetting at any reasonable range.
  5. A shot or stab wound is simply felt as a blow or push at first. It is some little time before any burning or other painful sensation begins.
  6. When you are knocked unconscious you do not feel the blow that does it.
  7. A wound made after death of the wounded is usually recognizable as such.
  8. Fingerprints of any value to the police are seldom found on anybody’s skin.
  9. The pupils of many drug addicts’ eyes are apparently normal.
  10. It is impossible to see anything by the flash of an ordinary gun, though it is easy to imagine you have seen things.
  11. Not nearly so much can be seen by moonlight as you imagine. This is especially true of colours.
  12. All Federal snoopers are not members of the Secret Service. That branch is chiefly occupied with pursuing counterfeiters and guarding Presidents and prominent visitors to our shores.

12 More Hammett Writing Tips Underneath

  1. A sheriff is a county officer who usually has no official connection with city, town or state police.
  2. Federal prisoners convicted in Washington, D.C., are usually sent to the Atlanta prison and not to Leavenworth.
  3. The California State prison at San Quentin is used for convicts serving first terms. Two-time losers are usually sent to Folsom.
  4. Ventriloquists do not actually “throw” their voices and such doubtful illusions as they manage depend on their gestures. Nothing at all could be done by a ventriloquist standing behind his audience.
  5. Even detectives who drop their final g’s should not be made to say “anythin’” an oddity that calls for vocal acrobatics.
  6. “Youse” is the plural of “you”.
  7. A trained detective shadowing a subject does not ordinarily leap from doorway to doorway and does not hide behind trees and poles. He knows no harm is done if the subject sees him now and then.
  8. The current practice in most places in the United States is to make the coroner’s inquest an empty formality in which nothing much is brought out except that somebody has died.
  9. Fingerprints are fragile affairs. Wrapping a pistol or other small object up in a handkerchief is much more likely to obliterate than to preserve any prints it may have.
  10. When an automatic pistol is fired the empty cartridge shell flies out the right-hand side. The empty cartridge case remains in a revolver until ejected by hand.
  11. A lawyer cannot impeach his own witness.
  12. The length of time a corpse has been a corpse can be approximated by an experienced physician, but only approximated, and the longer it has been a corpse, the less accurate the approximation is likely to be.

Did you know any of these Writing Tips?

Did You Know I Have a Dectective Novel Coming Out?

Oddly, next month I’ll publish my own detective novel, my first. After I wrote it, I read the Hammett suggestions.

You can get YOUR autographed copy by clicking here. I will ship my preorders to everyone with FREE SHIPPING before the book comes out on Amazon.

You can also order the book by simply writing to me. Click here.

This book fits in between my first book Zombie Turkeys and my second, My Undead Mother-in-law.

2021 Reviews
Audiobook cover – click to listen.

I keep a timeline of each of my books, so I know exactly how much time is in between Zombie Turkeys and My Undead Mother-in-law. Just enough time to place a whole detective novel.

Zombie Detective runs from January 2016 to February 2016. I pack a lot in there that six weeks time period.

Zombie Turkeys goes from November 2015 to December 31st, 2015.

And My Undead Mother-in-law?

SciFi Story Fuel My Undead Mother-in-law
My Undead Mother-in-law cover. Click to get yours.

My Undead Mother-in-law runs from February 14th to October 31st, 2017.

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Problems of a Self-Published Indie Author

Quizzes, Questions

Problems of a Self-Published Indie Author exactly as I have experienced them over the past five years.

I’ll go through this in the order I’ve learned these lessons.

Indie Author Problem Number One

Mistakes. Writing mistakes.

“But Andy!” you say. “You paid for a professional editor!”

You’re right. But I make mistakes that slip past even the editor. I was reading Zombie Turkeys after it came back from the format editor. It was perfect–except I had the wrong character name in one sentence. Zombie Turkeys had over eighty named characters. (I know–that’s too many for a 54,000 word novel. I haven’t repeated that mistake.)

I’m glad I found it on the last read through before publishing. But that doesn’t solve every problem.

My Second Indie Author Problem

What about book covers? I complicated things by asking for and paying for a full back cover illustration plus chapter icons.

I have a great illustrator, Sean “Fuzzy” Flanagan. But artists are creative types. And Fuzzy was doing his first commission with me. The covers weren’t always done when I needed them. Also, they had to be in precisely the correct format for print books.

This took time. I made mistakes. I missed schedule dates.

But wait–there’s more! Kindle (and CreateSpace) have very strict guidelines on covers. My Createspace (print) cover for Zombie Turkeys was not acceptable for Kindle. It had too much blood on it. So I had to switch the colors after I released the book. That took time away from sales while it was being changed. Here’s the Kindle cover for Zombie Turkeys.

Do you have any questions so far? Ask me. I cover the whole publishing process in my blog post here.

My Next Problem: Getting Audible AudioBook Completed

I bet you didn’t see that coming! I wanted to publish each of my books in as many formats as I could. Audiobook publishing with royalty share was easy–you put your book on Audible for audition and you select the best voice actor.

I hit a home run with my first voice actor, Phil Blechman, who’s voiced Zombie Turkeys, My Undead Mother-in-law, and Paranormal Privateers with his voice actor assistant, Raven Perez.

So what’s the problem? My Undead Mother-in-law is six hours long. I had to listen, very carefully, to every minute to make sure there were no mistakes. And there were some in almost every chapter.

You try to read for six hours without making an error, let alone acting with the right nuance. And this doesn’t count production errors like too much background noise, or voices that are too soft. Audible is very picky about its volume levels. They rejected some chapters all by themselves.

All in all, audiobook production took much longer than I expected.

The Final Problem – Changes Later On

Once you publish a book, it never changes, right? Wrong.

Each time I publish a book, I updated the books I published to show all the books I have. That way, I can possibly entice people to buy my other books.

No biggie, right? Wrong. I have to update the front matter, and the back matter, the preview of the next book. I also put in links to the other books.

This only has to go through format editing for print and ebook formats–but it still must be done.

Then there’s the time I changed a book cover because the old one wasn’t selling. But that’s a story for another time. I’ll tell you if you ask me. Hint It’s this next book:

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August’s Best Content for You from Andy Zach

Best Content for you is right here. Of course, we must start with “Bears on a Plane”. The question for you is, a short story or a novel? Tell me and I’ll send you a copy. If not this short story, then another one.

By the way, I have more short stories for you below.

What can top ‘Bears on a Plane’?

I grew up in Cleveland and so did Tim Conway. We watched him on the Carol Burnette Show. He never failed to crack up his fellow comedians.

Going on, I also found this amazing video: Mars’ entire 24-hour rotation.

More Great Content from the Internet

Author E.M. Swift-Hook was kind enough to share an excerpt of my book Zombie Turkeys on her blog. Here it is:

Excerpt from Zombie Turkeys, by Andy Zach.

CHAPTER 2 – EDWARDS

He felt great, full of energy. He led his flock out of the woods. Now there was another field in front of them, with a large barnlike structure on it. Maybe it was another turkey barn!He’d go free them and gain more members for his flock. They had acquired more wild turkey flocks during their march. Now twelve thousand strong, they charged the barnlike structure.

* * *

The Caterpillar Edwards Dealer Education facility was preparing for a big customer demonstration. A large 390F backhoe was digging trenches and D-11 and D-10 tractors were filling them in—inside the voluminous demonstration building. It was only 7:30 a.m., but they had a scripted and choreographed performance to practice, showing the capabilities of the company’s huge machines. Part of script was for the 390s to dig a huge trench, have a small D-4 tractor go into it and smooth it out, and then have the big D-11s fill it back in. Then an enormous flock of turkeys entered through the open arena door. “Gobble! Gobble!”

That was not in the script.

Read more at E.M. Swift-Hook’s page here

You’re Not Done With Great Content

Good news! You’ve got another free excerpt below. It’s my short story ‘In A Pickle’ from my book Oops!

Yes, this is an eMagazine with lots of stories by lots of authors–including me. Here’s my short story icon:

The death of an egg. Always a sobering topic. He’ll be savored long after he’s gone.

How About a Hypersonic Jet for You?

The SR-71 was one of my favorite planes of all time. Top speed of around 3,000 mph (4,800 kph for you metric folks.) Here’s a possible successor which is planned to go at twice the speed, up to Mach 8.

I now take you from the sublime to the ridiculous.

Is this next video ridiculous or sublime? Or just history? Or just fun?

Bye for now! If you find any great content, let me know and I’ll send you a free book.