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Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late!

Free Zombie Turkeys Before It's Too Late!
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
Free Kindle edition of “Zombie Turkeys”. Click to download.

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys Before It’s Too Late! It’s never too late for zombie turkeys to show up; they’re diurnal. But in three days it’ll be too late for Free Zombie Turkeys. Click the book cover below to get it now.

What is about? A comical zombie turkey apocalypse where the turkeys regenerate rather than rot.

It’s about Sam Melvin, a high school graduate pursuing a story to his possible death.

It’s about Lisa Kambacher, his editor, driving him onagainst the zombies to vault her small town newspaper into prominence.

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys–have a look inside

Have a taste of Zombie Turkeys, read by your’s truly, Andy Zach, on my Youtube channel.

 

Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys – Listen to Reviewers

Check out some of the over one hundred glowing Amazon reviews!

Read what laughing readers have said since its publication last October 31st, 2016.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars 

This one is definitely NOT a turkey!

By Elara

5.0 out of 5 stars This one is definitely NOT a turkey!, July 18, 2017

‘He felt great, he was full of energy. He had many hens to breed with, and he was the leader of a great flock.’

Sam Melvin is a reporter with the Midley Beacon, it’s a tiny local paper – with an online presence – run by its penny-pinching editor Lisa Kambacher. When Sam sees the two turkey hunters on the slab in the local mortuary, he knows he has a story to cover and he sets out to do so with great gusto. As the zombie turkeys multiply, Sam and Lisa are the leading media team on the ground and the Midley Beacon goes international, solving their financial woes and syndicating their work across the globe. But it’s not all good news. After all, there are those people-killing zombie turkeys heading into town…

This was a book I picked up with trepidation as it seemed all too possible it would be a ‘one trick pony’ stretching a single joke to beyond breaking point across the length of an entire novel. Wrong! It is like a bowl of potpourri on the sideboard of life – lots of subtle blending examples of humour – many of them very American so I suspect there were even more than I noticed, handicapped by my British perspective. This is a book that takes ironic comedy to a whole new level – maybe ‘steelic’ comedy…? Humour is a very personal thing, but this book hit me right on the funny bone.

‘Wanted badly: .30-06 carbine. Will trade hunting dog or wife for it.’

This is a well-written book which takes a totally deadpan approach to a thoroughly – hysterically – funny sequence of events. It is dark comedy, so avoid if you are squeamish. The pace of the book rolls along in a perfect, unhurried way – screaming up into the action sequences and taking time to enjoy the more delicious moments of humour.

The story itself is a lot deeper than many real zombie books and the explanation for the zombie phenomenon is as clever as it is satirical.The characters are well portrayed, deep enough to engage with and care about, but not so deep you get distracted from what they are doing by their personalities. They are the agents through which we see the events unfolding rather than the focus of the story. But the humour is subtle, all-pervading: like the idea of the survivalist organic turkey farmer, part of a network of such, living off grid – except for ordering things from Amazon on his wife’s credit card of course…

‘The most disheartening thing was, she’d stab one through the heart. It’d drop fifteen feet to the ground with a satisfying thud. Then it’d stagger to its feet five minutes later and fly back up fifteen minutes later.’

The downside is that maybe some of the humour is lost on a non-US reader. There were a couple of moments I thought ‘Huh?’ then decided it was probably a reference to something outside my cultural parameters. The only other criticism I had was that it maybe played the theme along a tiny bit too far and perhaps had a few scenes been a bit shorter, a bit less detail on the way the plague spread, or a couple of turkey attacks left out – it might have been a sharper read. But these are very minor nit-picks against the whole.This is a book I can recommend wholeheartedly to anyone who enjoys slow-boil satire and does not mind a few gory giblets thrown in the mix. If you want a good comedy read, you should gobble this up!

Did Someone Say “Gobble”?

Watch another video of a gobbling turkey:

Next, take a gander at this one:

What Can Top Getting Free Zombie Turkeys?

Maybe some cranberry sauce? How about a sequel, My Undead Mother-in-law? You can get it on Kindle by clicking here:

Andy Zach TV Version for "My Undead Mother-in-law" Launch
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
New Book Coming! Get It by clicking here!
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon
Get Your Free Zombie Turkeys
My Undead Mother-in-law, Chapter 5 Icon

Or you can have a print book shipped to you by clicking on the chapter icon ==>

Or you can subscribe to my newsletter and get a free copy of Zombie Turkeys. Click here!

Finally, you can leave a comment here.

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Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law

Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law - "Why?", you ask. Because this is my favorite villain from my favorite book.

Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law – “Why?”, you ask. Because this is my favorite villain from my favorite book I’ve written. Also, this book is ON SALE NOW FOR .99!

Happy Undead Mother-in-law
Another Villain Excerpt
My Undead Mother-in-law. Get it for your mother-in-law! Click here.

What’s My Undead Mother-in-law about? Remember my first book was Zombie Turkeys. How could I top that?

Move the zombie disease to humans. Then I made them the heroes of the book.

But wait–I had to have a villain who was MORE dangerous than they were. How could I do that?

You’ll learn in the excerpt below.

Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law – But First, My Heroine

Andy Zach reads from ‘My Undead Mother-in-law’.

But maybe you want to read it yourself. No problem! I’ve got a free excerpt of chapter 1 right here for my faithful blog readers. Just drop me a note and I’ll send it to you.


Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law – This is It!

Another Villain Excerpt

He jumped into his hyperloop. It led to a bathroom.

“C’mon, boys,” he said to his chipmunks.

Splattity splat-splat!. Frigging zombie turkeys!

No problem. Holding his chipmunks, he pulled the eject lever.

Whoosh! A mile up, inflatable wings and tail whooshed from the seat. An electric propeller. spun

Vik steered his ultralight aircraft toward his destination.

Humvees sped toward him. Time for his backup plan.

Securing his chipmunks, he opened the armrest, strapped on a controller, and squeezed the trigger.

The ultralight plane disintegrated.

Falling thousands of feet, he triggered the jetpack. His descent stopped. He skimmed above the fields.

It’s best to be unpredictable.

You can get your copy for $13.95 for the print version, or $.99 for the ebook version. (February 2nd to 9th 2025) Or you can get the autographed copy from me for $13.

You can also read the book for free on Kindle or Audible.

Finally, if you’re desperate, you can always do what I do when I want to read a book and not pay for it. Go to Amazon and click on the ‘Look Inside’ button and read random sections until you’ve read it all.

One more thing: here’s a My Undead Mother-in-law Review

Why is this my favorite review? It’s from a professional author who doesn’t like zombie books, yet loved My Undead Mother-in-law..

Not your standard zombie tale

Stephanie Barr

4.0 out of 5 stars

December 28, 2018

Verified Purchase

When I started to read this book, I was leery. As far as I know, I’m less interested in zombies than anyone on the planet. How could I give a reasonable review? Turns out, it wasn’t hard at all. I’ve said before and it turned out to be true here that, if you have a ridiculous premise that’s hard to swallow, run with it, normalize it, and readers /viewers will eventually accept. And it worked. The original premise of cognizant, virtually indestructible zombies was lobbed and backed until I was a believer, actively rooting for zombies. Plenty of (bloodier than average) action, some smiling, if not guffaw humor, a nice fulfilling story arc in an easy readable length made for a fun book (if bloody action doesn’t bother you) with charm that didn’t take itself to seriously but still capable of many a tender and touching moments.

I’m glad my prejudice didn’t keep me from enjoying this out-of-the-common-way story.

Another Villain Excerpt from My Undead Mother-in-law – Now What’s Next?

Another Villain Excerpt
Concept photo for Sorcerer’s Apprentice World

In March, I’ll have my cover reveal for my next novel, Sorcerer’s Apprentice World. Watch this blog or my Facebook page for the exact date. I’m waiting to get all the pieces of the book together: interior text, chapter titles, and back copy blurb.

Once it’s all together, I assemble it and schedule my publication and launch dates.

Here’s a cover tease. This is my concept photo.

You can get free audiobooks by clicking here and joining my newsletter.