Andyzach

Get Your Free Excerpt from Paranormal Privateers, my third zombie book in my Life After Life Chronicles.

“Why bother?” you may ask.

The excerpt was published it seven years ago and last year when the book was 80% off for a sale. It’s on sale again.

“Is the book worth it?”

How do you feel about saving 80% on the book? Paranormal Privateers will be on sale from February 8th to 10th. Click here to grab your copy. But don’t wait. It goes up to $2.99 on February 10th. Then on the 15th it goes back to the normal price of $5.99.

Don’t you like reading about sentient alien intelligence that is a Star Trek fan?

Most of you know my first book, Zombie Turkeys, now available in audiobook format:

Somewhat fewer of you know my second book, My Undead Mother-in-law, also available in audiobook format:

And still fewer know about my third zombie book, Paranormal Privateers.  get your book here.

Paranormal Privateers Status, my third zombie book

I had fun researching Washington DC’s geography, the layout and distances around the National Mall, and shaped explosive charges! 

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And Now Get Rare Excerpt

From Chapter 4 London, the first draft of  Paranormal Privateers, we find the paranormal privateers, George, Diane, Lulu, and Sharon, going incognito as undeclared zombies, quite against British law at the time. They’re using bloodhounds and zombie corgis to track down terrorists threatening London. Oh, and they have a truckload of zombie bulls.

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Scotland Yard met us the next morning when we docked in the port of London. We divided up into three groups to cover the area. Diane and I took everything between Grosvenor Place and Belgrave Place. Lulu and Sharon took the area from Belgrave to Basil. The Scotland Yard dog handlers Jerry Naismith and Benjamin Buxley took the wedge from Basil to Knightsbridge.

We jogged along, Diane and I. She had picked up the special two-wheel wheelchair, iBot, from Kamen industries office in London and loved tooling along at six miles per hour. Since we were in England maybe I should use the metric equivalent: ten kilometers per hour. I had no trouble keeping up with her, even as a deaf-mute. If people talked to me, I just handed them my deaf-mute card. The dogs, our two corgis, and two bloodhounds, also in service dog vests, loved it.

Then came a yell over our headsets. It was the Scotland yard crew, Jerry and Ben, both yelling.

“We’ve found them! The terrorists! They’re on the second floor of Harrods, in the tableware section!” said Jerry.

“We can’t get any closer! They’ve got tasers!” said Ben.

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“The hounds found C-4 in crockpots. When the sales clerks saw us they shot tasers at us!” Jerry continued.

“We would have been fried, but our kevlar vests stopped them,” added Ben.

“Now they’ve surrounded us in the ladies WC, taking shots at us,” Jerry interjected.

“We’re not far away!” said Lulu. “We’ll be right there!”

“George, we’re over a mile away, but we’re close to our truck, er, lorry holding the bulls and more corgis.”

I nodded. We had decided killer turkeys and the crowds of London were not a good combination. The turkeys remained on the yacht.

Diane jumped out of her wheelchair. “I’m breaking cover, you can too, George!” We ran to the truck, about two blocks away.

“Let me drive Diane,” I said.

“Of course. Left-hand drive scares me!”

Left-hand drive just required flipping all my US habits around. Look right first, then left. Keep left. I got the lorry out into traffic. We got into the traffic circle off Grosvenor.

“Look for Brampton exit,” I said.

We went all around the circle. No Brompton.

“Let’s try Chesham,” Diane suggested.

“We just passed it,” I said.

“What about Wilton?”

“You mean that last exit? We can’t go back to it now.”

“Here comes Belgrave again.”

“Let’s pull off,” I consulted the map on my cell phone. No map appeared for London. Rather, a popup said, “Directions disabled for London by order of the City of London. Please consult an official London cabbie.” I read aloud, incredulous.

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The bulls bawled in the lorry. “There’s a taxi stand over there,” I pointed to Diane.

“I’m on it!” Diane leapt out of the lorry, ran across the busy traffic circle, accompanied by honking cars and talked with a cabby. She gave him some money and ran back.

“He’ll lead us to Harrods!”

I followed him out of the traffic circle. Then I heard in the headset, “Yow!”

“Ay, caramba!” That was Lulu.

“What happened, Lulu?”

“Sharon caught a taser in the face. She’s down! It’s way more electricity than a regular taser. It can stop a zombie!”

“How are the Scotland Yard guys, Jerry and Ben?” I asked.

“We’re fine!” Jerry answered.

“After Lulu and Sharon attacked the clerks let us alone,” Ben added.

“Then we slipped down to the first floor,” Jerry said.

“That’s the second floor in US terminology,” Lulu said.

“So if the tableware is on the second floor, that’s the third?” I asked.

“Yes,” Lulu said.

“What’s your situation, Lulu?” I asked.

“I’m using a cutting board as a shield. When the taser hits it, I cut the wires with my katana.”

“Are they going to rush you? Where are you?”

“I don’t think so. One tried sneaking past me and I bowled him down by throwing a mixer at him. I’m guarding the exit to the dinnerware room. They can’t leave past me, but I can’t advance. I can’t leave Sharon anyway. How long until you get here?”

“We’ll be there in a couple of minutes.”

“We’ll need about ten more minutes,” said General MacGregor, who was in charge of the backup forces.

“Good! Double backup! Lulu, hang on, we’re bringing in the heavies!” Diane said.

Get Your Free Except – An Author Reading

Here’s another excerpt, read by Yours Truly, Andy Zach. Get Your Free Excerpt is from the beginning of the book, chapter 1.

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